"Well, come to think it over," said the story teller, "maybe he wasn't so darned famished after all."
A gentleman from London was invited to go for "a day's snipe-shooting" in the country. The invitation was accepted, and host and guest shouldered guns and sallied forth in quest of game.
After a time a solitary snipe rose, and promptly fell to the visitor's first barrell.
"We may as well return," he remarked, gloomily, "for that was the only snipe in the neighborhood."
The bird had afforded excellent sport to all his friends for six weeks.
"Well, not exactly; but she's making him a good husband."
A husband and wife ran a freak show in a certain provincial town, but unfortunately they quarreled, and the exhibits were equally divided between them. The wife decided to continue business as an exhibitor at the old address, but the husband went on a tour.
After some years' wandering the prodigal returned, and a reconciliation took place, as the result of which they became business partners once more. A few mornings afterward the people of the neighborhood were sent into fits of laughter on reading the following notice in the papers:
"By the return of my husband my stock of freaks has been permanently increased."
An eminent German scientist who recently visited this country with a number of his colleagues was dining at an American house and telling how much he had enjoyed various phases of his visit.
"How did you like our railroad trains?" his host asked him.
"Ach, dhey are woonderful," the German gentleman replied; "so swift, so safe chenerally--und such luxury in all dhe furnishings und opp'indmends. All is excellent excebt one thing--our wives do not like dhe upper berths."
A couple of old grouches at the Metropolitan Club in Washington were one night speaking of an old friend who, upon his marriage, took up his residence in another city. One of the grouches had recently visited the old friend, and, naturally, the other grouch wanted news of the Benedict.
"Is it true that he is henpecked?" asked the second grouch.
"I wouldn't say just that," grimly responded the first grouch, "but I'll tell you of a little incident in their household that came within my observation. The very first morning I spent with them, our old friend answered the letter carrier's whistle. As he returned to us, in the breakfast room, he carried a letter in his hand. Turning to his wife, he said: