* If every man attended to his own affairs, he would find little time to pry into those of others. An idle head is the devil's garret. Your intermeddler is one who has either nothing to do, or having it to do, leaves it undone. It is good to reform others;'tis better to begin with ourselves. He who censures most severely the faults of his neighbour is generally very merciful to his own. "One day judgeth another," says old Stow, "and the last judgeth all."
We laugh at the hypocrite when caught in his own snare--when guilty of the suppressio veri, he is openly detected in the suggestio falsi, and made to pay the penalty of his duplicity. An ancient beau, bounding with all the vigour and alacrity that age, gout, and rheumatism usually inspire, cuts not a more ridiculous figure!
Hermes, or Mercury, was a thief, and the god of thieves; Venus, a gay lady; Bacchus, a wine-bibber; and Juno, a scold. And what apology offers sweet Jack Falstaff, kind Jack Falstaff, true Jack Falstaff, valiant Jack Falstaff, for his infirmities! He lets judgment go by default! "Dost thou hear, Hal? thou knowest, in the state of innocency, Adam fell; and what should poor Jack Falstaff do, in these days of villany?"
This is truth as deep as the centre. Whoever shall cast a pebble at old Jack after this, must have his conscience Macadamised!
Be your grace * short, and your meals long. Abate not one slice of venison, one spoonful of turtle. Be the fat, white and green, all your own! ** But war not with _Punch_--
"Let the poor devil _eat_; allow him _that!_"
"Curtail not our holiday Septembrisers of their fair proportion of fun."
"To those sentiments," exclaimed Deputy Doublechin, "I most heartily respond!"
* The Rev. R. C. Dillon (Lord Mayor's chaplain in 1826) published in 1830 a "Sermon on the evil of fairs in general, and Bartholomew Fair in particular." Who would have thought that this pious functionary had been so great a foe to the fair?
The following odd combinations occur in the title of a sermon published in 1734. "The deformity of sin cured; a sermon preached at St. Michael's Crooked Lane, before the Prince of Orange, (the Prince was not quite straight! ) by the Rev. J. Crookshanks. Sold by Matthew Denton at the Crooked Billet, near Cripplegate.