"Because no pretty woman ever does. Each lady will select some nonentity of the masculine gender, and expect her lover to enter into a contest of rivalry. Each gentleman will decline the contest."

"I know them both. Each is a proud man, and has an abundance of self-respect. No daughter of Eve can comprehend a proud man, though every woman knows how to manage a vain one to perfection. Although either Harry or Clarence would, as you say, go to the North Pole in obedience to the wishes of the woman he adores, neither of them will consent to humiliation for her sake. She will persist in her course, and will ultimately find herself abandoned by her lover. Then, after a few years----"

The Funny Philosophers — Part 5

"You will behold the once fairy-like Claribel a matron of robust proportions, married to a plain man, who made her an offer in a business-like manner."

The Funny Philosophers — Part 5

"A bald-headed man, who, having worked like a beaver and made a large fortune, is enjoying it with a wife who is as ugly as sin, but is a most excellent manager of his domestic affairs."

The Funny Philosophers — Part 5

"Toney, when do you intend to publish your book of prophecies?"

"A prophet has no honor in his own country. But, do you not hear the sound of music in the ball-room? Let us go in,--

On with the dance! let joy be unconfined, No sleep till morn when Youth and Pleasure meet To chase the glowing hours with flying feet."

In one of the border States of the South, in the midst of a romantic scenery, is situated the village of Bella Vista. Being connected by railway with a number of populous towns, it had become a place of resort during the season of summer for persons who desired to exchange the sultry atmosphere of cities for the cool breezes, shady groves, and pure fountains of this delightful retreat.

In the village had been erected a commodious hotel, which, during the months of summer, was filled with guests. The proprietor, desirous of contributing to the enjoyment of his patrons, had arranged for semi-weekly hops, which were attended not only by the inmates of the hotel, but by families from the village and from the surrounding country.

The two young lawyers, Toney Belton and Tom Seddon, the former a resident of the town of Mapleton, in an adjoining county of the State, and the latter a citizen of Bella Vista, entered the ball-room soon after the musicians had sounded a prelude to the poetry of motion. As they moved through the crowd they were met by a handsome young man who extended his hand to each.