[172] Reliquo tempore me domi tenui _Hofmann_: recipio tempore me domo te nunc _MSS._
[173] Balbum scripsi _added by Lambinus and Lehmann_.
Tulliae meae morbus et imbecillitas corporis me exanimat. Quam tibi intellego magnae curae esse, quod est mihi gratissimum. De Pompei exitu mihi
but the cruellest thoughts were entertained about you personally. So I shall never regret my resolve; but I do regret my plan of action. I wish I had settled down in some town, till I was called for. There would have been less talk about me, less pain for me; this particular regret at any rate would not be worrying me. To remain inactive at Brundisium is annoying from every point of view. And how can I go nearer to Rome, as you advise, without the lictors given me by the people? They cannot be taken from me without depriving me of my rights. Only lately, as I was approaching Brundisium, I made them mix with the crowd with nothing but sticks in their hands for fear the soldiery might attack them: ever since I have kept at home. I have written to Oppius and to Balbus, asking them to consider how I can move nearer to Rome. I think they will advise me to do so. For they promise that Caesar will be anxious not only to preserve my dignity, but even to increase it; and they bid me be of good cheer and entertain the highest of hopes. This they warrant and guarantee. Personally I should have felt surer about it, if I had stayed where I was. But that is harping on the past; so pray look to the future and investigate the matter with them, and, if you think it necessary and they approve, call in Trebonius, Pansa and anyone else you like, that I may win Caesar's approval by appearing to follow his friends' advice, and let them write to Caesar, telling him that, what I have done, I did at their advice.
My dear Tullia's illness and weakness frightens me to death. I understand you are taking great care of her, and I am very grateful. About Pompey's end
dubium numquam fuit. Tanta enim desperatio rerum eius omnium regum et populorum animos occuparat, ut, quocumque venisset, hoc putarem futurum. Non possum eius casum non dolere; hominem enim integrum et castum et gravem cognovi. De Fannio consoler te? Perniciosa loquebatur de mansione tua. L. vero Lentulus Hortensi domum sibi et Caesaris hortos et Baias desponderat. Omnino haec eodem modo ex hac parte fiunt, nisi quod illud erat infintum. Omnes enim, qui in Italia manserant, hostium numero habebantur. Sed velim haec aliquando solutiore animo.