LIGE Nobody don't love water lak uh Baptist an' uh Moccasin.

HAMBO An' nobody don't hate it lak de devil, uh rattlesnake an uh Meth'dis.

De Turkey and De Law — Part 15

(General laughter. Enter Joe Clark from store. Stands in door)

De Turkey and De Law — Part 15

SIMMS Dis town needs uh cleanin' in more ways than one. Now if this town was run right, when folks misbehaves, they oughter be locked up in jail and if they can't pay no fine, they oughter be made to work it out on de streets--chopping weeds.

De Turkey and De Law — Part 15

LINDSAY How we gointer do all dat when we ain't got no jail?

SIMMS Well, you orta _have_ uh jail. Y'all needs uh whole heap of improvements in dis town. Ah ain't never pastored no town so way back as this one here.

CLARKE (Stepping out before Simms) What improvements you figgers we needs?

SIMMS A whole heap. Now for one thing, we really does need uh jail, Brother Mayor. Taint no sense in runnin' people out of town that cuts up. We oughter have jails like other towns. Every town I ever pastored had uh jail.

CLARKE (Angrily) Now hold on uh minute, Simms! Don't you reckon uh man dat knows how to start uh town knows how to run it? You ain't been here long enough to find out who started dis town yet. (Very emphatic, beating of his palm with other fist) Do you know who started dis town? (Does not pause for an answer) Me! I started _dis_ town. I went to de white folks and wid _dis_ right hand I laid down two hundred dollars for de land and walked out and started dis town. I ain't like some folks--come here when grapes was ripe. I was here to cut new ground.

SIMMS Well, tain't no sense in one man stayin' Mayor all de time, nohow.

CLARKE (Triumphantly) So dat de tree you barkin' up? Why, you ain't nothin' but uh trunk man. You can't be no mayor. I got roots here.

SIMMS You ain't all de voters, tho, Brother Mayor.

CLARKE (Arrogantly) I don't hafta be. I God, it's my town and I kin be Mayor jes' as long as I want to. (Slaps his chest) I God, it was _me_ dat put dis town on de map.

SIMMS What map you put it on, Brother Clarke? You musta misplaced it. I ain't seen it on no map.

CLARKE Tain't on no map, hunh? I God, everytime I go to Maitland de white folks calls me Mayor. Otherwise, Simms, I God, if you so dissatisfied wid de way I run dis town, just take yo' Bible and flat foots and git younder cross de woods.