"Brethren," Palmer said solemnly as they entered, "I know you’re always glad when we can bring in any poor wanderer from the highways or byways. I want you to be kind to the stranger for my sake—he hasn’t had anything to eat since his last meal."
"Sit down, Simmons," directed Oliver. "Don’t mind Palmer—he’s farm-bred, you know, and he thinks it’s a deuce of an achievement to sit up at night. He used to have to go to bed with the calves."
"Now I sit up with the goats," rejoined the once rustic Palmer, producing a pipe and calmly proceeding to equip it. "But I ought to be in bed. I’m played out. I was so tired at dinner to-night I went to sleep over the salad course."
"Oh, Lord," broke in Forrester; "hear him prattling about night dinners—and he never had anything but bread and molasses for supper on the farm. And hear him giving us that guff about the salad course, as if he was the son of a duke. If you’d lived in Glasgow, my boy, they’d have brought you to time pretty quick. A man’s got to be a gentleman over there, I tell you, before he has evening dinners and all that sort of thing—did you drink out of the finger-bowls, Palmer?"
"You needn’t talk, Scottie," growled Oliver. "You write your letters at the Arlington—and you get your dinner for fifteen cents at Webb’s, at the counter, with your hat on."
"You’re a liar," retorted Scottie, meaning no offense whatever. "I’ve got as good blood inside of me as any man in this city; my mother was born in Auchterarder Castle and——"
"I wouldn’t be found dead in a root-house with a name like that," interrupted the agricultural Palmer. "Anyhow, I guess she was the cook—and what’s more, nobody here cares what you’ve got inside of you. But there’s poor Simmons—he’s our guest—and he looks as if he hadn’t put anything inside of him for a dog’s age. Where’s the restorative, Scottie? It’s always you that had it last."
Scottie arose and walked solemnly to a little cupboard in the wall. "I’ll inform you, Mr. Simmons," he began gravely, his back still turned to the company, "that we’re here for a double purpose. First, we were having a little intellectual conference on—on the rise and fall of the Russian empire, as a great authority put it. You see, we’re a kind of a Samuel Johnson coterie—and this is a kind of a Cheshire Cheese. I was there once when I was in London."
