The simplicity of Markham was manifested in the circumstance, that notwithstanding the fine opportunity afforded him for pouring out a torrent of metaphors and indignation, whereby he might have gained a six-month’s immortality among the unfledged spoutlings of debating-societies and wisdom-clubs, he merely endeavoured to put the jury into full and clear possession of the facts of the case, and to meet the plausibilities which might be started by the counsel on the other side. He did not say a word about honey and turtles on the one hand, or scowling fiends and demons on the other. He did not talk about paradise, for he did not suppose that there was any such place in Piccadilly. He did not talk as if he thought that heaven and earth must come together, because Mr. Tippetson had run away with the Countess of Trimmerstone. He did not seem to think it at all a miracle that their post-chaise arrived safely at Dover, and the steam-boat took them safely to Calais. He did not run over all the elopements from Helen downwards, and demonstrate that Mr. Tippetson was worse than Paris, or that the Countess of Trimmerstone was more beautiful than Helen. He did not tell the jury that all morality and domestic virtue would be banished from the earth, or even from the west end of the town, if they should sentence Mr. Tippetson to pay Lord Trimmerstone a farthing less than twenty thousand pounds. He did not quote poetry or spout froth. So much for Markham’s simplicity.
Now, on the other hand, let us record for the honor of that gentleman whose name we do not know, a specimen of his dexterity in making the most and the best of a bad cause. It had been proved in the course of the trial, according to the usual practice in such cases, that the Earl and Countess of Trimmerstone had lived very happily together. There was perhaps some difficulty in finding persons who had seen them much together; but there was evidence enough to prove the point, and there was none to disprove it. The opposing counsel then had nothing left but to persuade the jury that Mr. Tippetson was so much superior to the Earl of Trimmerstone, that the Countess was almost pardonable for making the exchange; or that his lordship was so indifferent to her ladyship, that the loss was a matter of little concern to him. On the latter topic he dwelt with the greatest force; and in illustrating that point, he made use of a most powerful and convincing argument, drawn from the fact that his lordship did not immediately with all his household and establishment pursue her ladyship and bring her back again. This was a most ingenious argument, and for the eloquence and dexterity with which it was used, we are tempted to make a brief extract from the learned gentleman’s address to the jury. After having stated that the plaintiff did not immediately pursue the defendant and the fugitive fair one, he continued: