MAYOR CLARKE I God, Lum, if you don't tell me whut you done wid dat turkey, you better! (draws back the gavel as if to hurl it at Lum) I'll lam you over de head wid dis mallet! Whut did you do wid dat gobbler turkey?
LUM Being as he wasn't picked or nothin', I know you didn't want to be bothered wid it, so I took and carried it over to Mrs. Blunt's house and she put on some hot water and we set up way Sat'day night pickin de turkey and fixin him so nex' day she cooked him off--just sorta baked him wid a lil stuffin an' such, so he'd keep.
MAYOR CLARKE Didn't you know my wife knowed how to cook? Go fetch dat turkey here, and don't let no dead lice fall off of you on de way.
LUM (extremely embarrassed) I don't speck he's dere now, Mist' Clarke.
LUM I passed by dere on Sunday and et a lil piece of shoulder offa him, an' being everybody else was eatin' turkey too, I et some breast meat an' uh mouf ful or two of stuffin' an' uh drum stick wid de ham part of de leg hung on to it wid a lil gravy. (general laughter) I thought I was doin' right cause [Note: corrected missing space] de turkey was kilt for Daisy anyhow. So I jus' took it on to her. Dave was all hurt up and Jim was locked up so--
CLARKE Dat'll do! Dat'll do! Dry up, Suh! (turns to Dave) Stand up, Dave. Since youse de one got hurted, you be de first witness and tell me just whut went on out dere.
SISTER TAYLOR Dat's right, Dave. Git up dere and lie lak de cross ties from New York to Texas. You greasy rascal you! You better go wash yo'self before you go testifying on people.
REV. SINGLETARY (jumping to his feet) Wait a minute! Taint none of y'all got no call to be throwin' off on dis boy. He come here to git justice, not to be slurred and low-rated. He ain't 'ssaulted nobody. He ain't stole no turkeys _nor_ chickens. He's a clean boy. He set at my feet in Sunday school since he was so high, (measures knee height) and he come thru religion under de sound of my voice an' I baptized him and I know he's clean.
SISTER TAYLOR It'll take more'n uh baptizin' to clean dat nigger.
DAVE I goes in swimmin' nearly every day. I'm just as clean as anybody else.
SISTER TAYLOR (Mayor begins rapping for order. She shouts out) Swimmin! Dat ain't gointer clean de crust offa _you_. You ain't had a good bath since de devil was a hatchet. If you ain't been parboiled in de wash pot and scoured wid Red Seal lye, don't bring de mess up.