"Oh, git away with your begp-a-h-don, as you call it----"
"But me no buts, and don't dear madam me. I'll tell my Joshua and he'll shake that glass out of your eye for insultin' his mother, he will."
Either the condition of Mr. Dide reflected in the old lady's mind with his eyeglass gone, or his general demoralization under the hands of Joshua, mitigated her indignation; she laughed as she bridled.
"Weally, madam," and Mr. Dide arose, held on to the guard rail with one hand while he removed his hat with the other, and with a manner that went far toward making his peace, continued: "I should nevah faugive myself if I went away leaving you with the impwession that I intended an insult--believe me, I am incapable."
"Well--don't you try to make anybody believe again that water runs up hill."
"And don't talk as if you was swearin' every time you say _ma_dam. Why don't you say ma'am like a Christian?"
"That's right. Set down now, I want to see out. I think somethin' might be made out of you with a little trainin', though mebbe it's too late; 'as the twig is bent the tree's inclined,' you know. What do you carry that little umbrill for, that thing you've got in your hand--don't you know the name of it?"
"Ah, weally--to wahd off the sun and the wain."
"Land sakes--mebbe you think you're sugar and'll melt; and you part your hair in the middle like a gal; I see it when you had your hat off."
"Weally--please excuse me, I would like to pass in."
"Set right down and don't let me drive you away. I've taken an interest in you; where's your mother?"
"Weally, ma--mahm--she has been dead many yeahs--I can just wemember her."
"I know'd it, and you've just been left to grow up of your own accord; been to college of course. 'Squire Dodd he let his Jake go off to college, and he staid just one year and come back with one of them glasses and lost it next day; the ole 'squire kep' him home after that, and set him to maulin' rails in the patch down by the hemlock p'int----"
For half an hour the dear old soul held the disconsolate gentleman in durance. I dared not look at the Major but kept my eyes fixed on the landscape, without seeing any of it.
Reaching Leadville, we searched in vain for the Deacon; his lady friends were also absent, and the Major remarked: