But that which Donna Inez most desired, And saw into herself each day before all The learned tutors whom for him she hired, Was, that his breeding should be strictly moral; Much into all his studies she inquired, And so they were submitted first to her, all, Arts, sciences, no branch was made a mystery To Juan’s eyes, excepting natural history.
The languages, especially the dead, The sciences, and most of all the abstruse, The arts, at least all such as could be said To be the most remote from common use, In all these he was much and deeply read; But not a page of any thing that ’s loose, Or hints continuation of the species, Was ever suffer’d, lest he should grow vicious.
His classic studies made a little puzzle, Because of filthy loves of gods and goddesses, Who in the earlier ages raised a bustle, But never put on pantaloons or bodices; His reverend tutors had at times a tussle, And for their AEneids, Iliads, and Odysseys, Were forced to make an odd sort! of apology, For Donna Inez dreaded the Mythology.
Ovid ’s a rake, as half his verses show him, Anacreon’s morals are a still worse sample, Catullus scarcely has a decent poem, I don’t think Sappho’s Ode a good example, Although Longinus tells us there is no hymn Where the sublime soars forth on wings more ample: But Virgil’s songs are pure, except that horrid one Beginning with ‘Formosum Pastor Corydon.’
Lucretius’ irreligion is too strong, For early stomachs, to prove wholesome food; I can’t help thinking Juvenal was wrong, Although no doubt his real intent was good, For speaking out so plainly in his song, So much indeed as to be downright rude; And then what proper person can be partial To all those nauseous epigrams of Martial?
Juan was taught from out the best edition, Expurgated by learned men, who place Judiciously, from out the schoolboy’s vision, The grosser parts; but, fearful to deface Too much their modest bard by this omission, And pitying sore his mutilated case, They only add them all in an appendix, Which saves, in fact, the trouble of an index;
For there we have them all ‘at one fell swoop,’ Instead of being scatter’d through the Pages; They stand forth marshall’d in a handsome troop, To meet the ingenuous youth of future ages, Till some less rigid editor shall stoop To call them back into their separate cages, Instead of standing staring all together, Like garden gods—and not so decent either.