"By this you can see that I am not ambitious, nor would I have undertaken anything against the Queen of England through a desire to reign. I have done with all that; and as regards myself, I wish for nothing but to pass the remainder of my life in peace and tranquillity of mind. My advancing age and my bodily weakness both prevent me from wishing to resume the reins of government. I have perhaps only two or three years to live in this world, and I do not aspire to any public position, especially when I consider the pain and _désésperance_ which meet those who wish to do right, and act with justice and dignity in the midst of so perverse a generation, and when the whole world is full of crimes and troubles."[37]
Burleigh, "no longer able to contain himself," here interrupted the Queen, reproaching her with having assumed the name and arms of England, and of having aspired to the Crown. "What I did at that time," replied Mary, "was in obedience to the commands of Henry the Second, my father-in-law, and you well know the reason."
"But," retorted Burleigh, "you did not give up these practices even after we signed the peace with King Henry."
"You made the arrangement to your own interest and advantage," replied Mary; "I was not thereby bound to renounce my rights, or to abandon them to my own great prejudice and that of my successors, receiving nothing in return. I owed you nothing. I was not dependent on your Queen, nor am I now, and I was not obliged to cede to her rights so important. If I had shown such weakness I should have been always reproached with it as having acted to my own blame and dishonour."
"You have also," insisted Burleigh, "continued to assert your pretension to the English Crown."
"I have never," answered the Queen, "given up my rights; I do not now, and never will. I beg of you, before this assembly, not to press me to say more upon this matter, for I do not wish to offend any one. I pray you to be content. You and many here present know well the reasons which led me to act in this matter, and of which it is unnecessary to speak at present. I am not called upon to render you an account of my actions. You know well that I have been reasonable and have made generous offers. I have indeed offered more than I should have done. God and you know whether I have a right or not to the Crown of England. I have offered myself to maintain the rights of my sister Queen Elizabeth as being the eldest, but I have no scruple of conscience in desiring the second rank, as being the legitimate and nearest heir. I am the daughter of James V., King of Scotland, and granddaughter of Henry VII. This cannot be taken from me by any law, or council, assembly, or judgment, nor consequently can my rights. I know well that my enemies and those who wish to deprive me of those rights have done up till now all that they can to injure me, and have essayed all illegitimate means, even to attempting my life, as is well known, and has been discovered in certain places and by certain persons whom I could name, were it necessary; but God, who is the just Judge, and who never forgets His own, has until now, in His infinite mercy and goodness, preserved me from all danger, and I hope that He will continue to do so and will not abandon me, knowing that He is all truth, and that He has promised not to abandon His servants in their need: He has extended His hand over me to afflict me, but He has given me this grace of patience to bear the adversities which it has pleased Him to send me. I do not desire vengeance. I leave it to Him who is the just Avenger of the innocent and of those who suffer for His name, under whose power and will I take shelter. I prefer the conduct of Esther to that of Judith, although both are approved by the Church. I pray God to do with me according to His good pleasure, to His praise and honour, and to the greater glory of His Church, in which I wish to live and die, in which I have been brought up and educated, and for which (as I have already protested several times) I would shed my blood to the last drop, being resolved to suffer all that God wishes. I do not fear the menaces of men. I will never deny Jesus Christ, knowing well that those who deny Him in this world, He will deny before His Father. I demand another hearing," continued Mary, "and that I be allowed an advocate to plead my cause, or that I be believed on the word of a queen.... I came to England relying upon the friendship and promises of your Queen. Look here, my lords," she exclaimed, drawing a ring from her finger; "see this pledge of love and protection which I received from your mistress--regard it well. Trusting to this pledge, I came amongst you. You all know how it has been kept."