"He's the gentleman who censors cheques; and he has a way of disqualifying them when there's not enough cash to pay them. Suzanne, what have you done with all that money I paid into your account last Monday?"
"But I've only paid those footling little bills. There must be tons of money left, unless the Bank's been speculating with it."
"Let me have a look at that cheque," I said.
She handed it to me and I examined it carefully.
"But that's how I always sign myself to Angela," she said; "and the Manager distinctly told me to use my customary signature."
"Signature--not signatures," I explained gently. "They're rooted in convention at the Bank and can't bear the least approach to variety. And what's this scribbled on the back of it?"
"Oh, that's only a note I dashed off to Angela telling her what I was going to wear. It seemed such a pity to waste a sheet of notepaper when there was all that space to spare."
I gave her a quarter-of-an-hour's lesson in the art of drawing cheques. Then I took up the paying-in book which was lying on the table. I knew it ought to be in a virgin state as I had added nothing to the entrance money. "And what might all these figures portend?" I asked.
"Those? Oh, that's baby's weight-chart. I'm always going to keep it there."
Well, well, if Suzanne looks after the weighing-in I can at least control the paying-in. And I left it at that.
[Illustration: _Brown._ "WHAT DID THEY GIVE OLD SLOWCOMBE THE O.B.E. FOR?"
_Jones._ "THE 'OTHER BEGGARS' ENERGY,' I IMAGINE."]
[Illustration: _Fond Parent_ (_who has done pretty well in woollens_). "WELL, SONNY, WE'VE DECIDED TO GIVE YOU THE BEST EDUCATION THAT MONEY CAN BUY. AFTER ALL, YOU WON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING EXCEPT BE A GENTLEMAN."]
(1) _Duties, Officers._--Orderly Officer for to-morrow: Second-Lieutenant W. Jenks.
W. Jenks is prepared to undertake duty for any brother subaltern. Terms--one day's pay, plus fifty per cent. for Saturdays or Sundays (handsome discount for cash in advance). Sleepless activity. Guards visited courteously but firmly. Any unusual occurrence handled with precision and despatch. Engage W. Jenks to do your duty, then sign your report with a clear conscience. Testimonials from all ranks.
(2) _Parades._--0830 hours and 1130 hours, as per routine.