At last, I got into _Yorkshire_, where, beyond _Northallerton_, meeting with a Herdsman, I was almost frighted out of my Wits, for this Fellow was a strange Creature, wonderfully _Goth’d_, and be-_Vandall’d_, even to Barbarity itself. He was really a Clown in grain, an uncultivated Boor, a Beast of the Herd in Humane Shape. I propos’d a Query or two about the Genius of the County; he told me the Soil was cold, and big with Clay, and would doubtless yield a good Harvest of Tobacco-Pipes; and as for the Inhabitants, he said, they were a Pap-Pudding Sort of People, much addicted to that vile Sort of Creature. As he said, I saw a whole Table at a Christening, spread with a Yard of Pudding, and a Balk of Beef, a Ridge at one End and a Furrow at the other; which did so wonderfully work upon the Chaps of the Gossips, and make their Mouths water, that the Godfathers and Godmothers fell furiously to Snouting for some few Morsels; mean while the two ear’d Pitcher, that stood upon the Bench, was Mr. _Prynn’d_ in Scuffle, that is, lost a Lug in the Fray; and as I was afterwards inform’d, the Distaff lost a Lock or two of its flaxen Perriwig. The Women of this Country are very coming, and are as great Breeders, as any of our _English Quakers_; and as for the Men, they are naturally born Thieves, being as dextrous Rogues at Horse-Stealing as a Serjeant at the _Poultry_, or _Woodstreet-Compter_ in selling Minutes dearer than a Watchmaker. But among rational Wonders in a Village, where I say, the most remarkable ~WONDER~ was an eminent Cot-Quean, a meer Woman in the Habit of a Man, a Kind of _Mol Cut-Purse_ Creature, an Epicene Animal of a twisted Gender, who had a Petticoat Soul in a trunk-breech’d Body, and scandaliz’d Virility, by Skill in Housewifery. He spun (the Neighbours said) like a Spider, and made his Wheel giddy by a swift _Vertigo_. He was a learned Craftsman in the making of Diet, a notable Food-Framer, who buffeted Cream, till he frighted it into a Consistence, and then knocking it into Butter, squeez’d it afterwards with Dexterity of Fist. He was also endow’d with the Gift of tossing Pancakes, and had a wonderful Knack at tempering the Materials of a Bag-Pudding, insomuch, that he surpass’d all the Dairy-Maids in the Milk-Pan Accomplishments; and was also excellently well qualify’d for a Meal-Tub Office. Here I tasted of the Hospitality of this fœmasculine Wight, who spread a Jointstool with several Sorts of Viands, which though not very delicate, yet the Variety might attone and make amends for their Meanness. Here was the _Epidermis_ of a Hog, the outward Skin, call’d the Sword of Bacon, which was infected with the Jaundies, for it look’d very yellow; next, was the Hull of a Pescod, plunder’d of its Pease, and corn’d with Salt; some broken Fragments of Sheeps Trotters, _St. Laurenc’d_ on a Gridiron; the minc’d Spurs of a bootless Cock, a skin’d Quadrant of soft Cheese, well sawc’d with the Butt-ends of forked Scallions; and the mouldy Reversion of an antiquated Loaf, dipt in the Verdure Watercresses Pottage, which afforded me the Refreshment of a pretty Collation: After which I went to Bed, and slept very sound till next Morning. When, getting that Day, into _Newark_ upon _Trent_, _Nottinghamshire_, I was no sooner arriv’d into the Navel of the Town, but I saw such an Assembly of Provision as represented a Market, which was unhappily disturb’d by an unfortunate Accident; for a certain Bull of an uncertain Man, having mistaken his Box, and taken Pepper in the Nose instead of Snuff, and being enrag’d and heated by Virtue of the Spice, took a frisk about the Cross, and empty’d by his Ramble all Stalls and Panniers; so that this brisk Customer made a scrambling kind of Dinner for the whole County; for the Mob, _alias_ the civiliz’d Rabble, was riding upon one anothers Backs for Viands and Booty, and was tumbling among the Ruins of Bakers, Butchers, and Costermongers.