The hired hand, Gus, went to town the other night to a dance. When he got back he said that “nothing stands between certain dancers and pneumonia but a sense of loyalty to their employers.”
_Oh, Myrt, do you know Aurora Borealis? They say she was all lit up last night._
No, Geraldine, Sandy Hook is not a Scotchman.
I was walking down the street the other day and on the far side was a fellow who looked familiar. “Hello, Bill,” I says. “Hello, Tom,” says he. “My name ain’t Tom,” I says. “Well, my name ain’t Bill, either,” says he. With that, I looks at him an’ he looks at me an’ sure enough, it was neither of us.
_Our idea of a fast guy is one who can turn out the light and get in bed before the room gets dark._
Why don’t girls figure that it costs money to press trousers?
When a girl reading a novel begins to wet her lips, the hero and heroine are about to meet.
_Girls will play fast and loose with men,_ _We know; so what’s the use?_ _So first we’ll hold the loose ones, then,_ _We’ll turn the fast ones loose._
The angels that fear to tread where fools rush in must miss a lot of fun.
=_A woman is not a heroine, Geraldine, just because she is dying for a man._=
Our friend Hooper writes us that last fall he was in Alaska; went out to spend the evening with his best girl and didn’t come back for six months. Some night, we’d say.
A fellow who gets up at five o’clock in the morning so that he’ll have more time to loaf.
Must be. My stenographer laughed until she almost fell off my lap when I told it to her.
A fast night makes a slow day. How well do I know it this morning.
He—My love for you is like a rushing brook.
Oh, for a world of equal balance. Here we find some women with no husbands atall, atall, while others have husbands and assistant husbands.
_Women are like automobiles. Some are chummy roadsters and some are merely runabouts._
One of the latest song hits in Southern California is “And we will get a little bungalow in Hollywood and live our own sweet way.”
_Indeed, Aloysius, you’re right—socks are the most frugal things in the world. They wouldn’t think of dropping a scent until they’re washed. Hoping you are the same, I am,_
Do you need any typewriter supplies? Yes, send me two pounds of candy and a box of chewing gum.