"1838. In converse with my friends, I have endeavoured to keep a conscience void of offence, and to walk in simplicity before the Lord; but Oh! when viewed in the glass of God's law, how deficient! Yet will I aim at the perfect model.--This morning, a young man named Calvert, who is going as a missionary to the South Seas, called upon us. With him I sent a letter to my Richard, having sat up the previous night writing, and little thinking I should have such an opportunity of sending it. Old feelings revived in my breast; but after he was gone, while musing about my son and the perils of missionary life, these words were sweetly applied: 'It is not the will of your Father in heaven, that one of these little ones should perish.'--The box sent to Richard, which has been lost for three months, is just found in proper time to go with a missionary bound for the same islands. There is a providence unseen by us, whose watchful eye protects the minutest interests of His own; 'Even the very hairs of your heads are all numbered.'--Informed that poor Mrs. W. was fast sinking, I hastened to see her; she was struggling with her last enemy, but smiling in His grasp. When told that she would soon join in singing 'Hallelujah,' she smiled and said. 'Yes;' and shortly after exchanged mortality for life."
How solemn was the room! How still that scene of death! My friend 'mid twilight gloom, Lay gasping hard for breath; The death dews on her temples stood; She smiled adieu, and crossed the flood.
Angels were hov'ring round, And breathing incense there; Almost I heard the sound Of wings upon the air; Light as the breeze, and clear as light, Her happy spirit took its flight.
Back on that solemn hour My thoughts are often cast; Be mine such faith and power To triumph at the last; With smiles to meet my latest foe, And die eternal life to know.
I am like Noah's dove. The world is a dreary waste of waters without anything upon which I can set my foot. My friends are dying, and disappointments common.--Wrote to Mr. B. on the importance of preparing to meet God; and enclosed three sermons on eternity.--Four persons, whom I have visited this week, have passed into eternity. These I have warned, urged, and pointed to Jesus. Of three of them I entertain hope; but Oh! the danger of delay, and the responsibility of visiting sick beds!--I have been much troubled with the inattention and neglect of a servant. This is permitted for the trial of my faith and patience, and my earnest prayer is, that I may secure the good intended. With respect to my inward experience, I have access to God, and can more implicitly pour my wants into the ears of Him, who waits to answer. I now enjoy, through Christ, solid peace. Many precious seasons for want of opportunity to record them pass unnoticed, and some painful exercises, in which I have to sing my deliverer's praise.