The manager, a thorough patriot, told the lad he could find him two looms at once, and then asked him:
“Is your brother Albert out in France as well?”
“Yes, sir, ’e’s wi’ eawr Frank—same regiment.”
“Your eldest brother, Jack, will be out there also, I reckon?”
“No,” said the youngster, with a proud shake of the head; “eawr Jack hesn’t gone to France yet. ’E’s mindin’ India!”
“Do you mean that you want me to press your trousers?” she demanded, with all the sternness she could muster.
“Why, certainly, my dear,” replied Sergeant Euchre, affably. “Am I asking too much?”
“Well, I should just about think so, Charles William. I’d have you know that when you married me you didn’t marry a flat-iron.”
Charles William thought a lot. That same evening Mrs. Euchre chipped in with, “Oh, Charles, you might just button my dress up the back before you go out.”
But Sergeant Euchre merely filled his pipe as he chuckled softly, “Not much, popsy-wopsy. You must remember that when you accepted me you did not marry a buttonhook.”
And setting his cap at a rakish angle, he made for the sergeants’ mess.
A recruiting sergeant, holding forth on the absolute necessity of every man enlisting, encountered an Irish wit.
“Halloa, John! Why can’t you join the Colors? I don’t know how any man can stand aside in such terrible circumstances. Why, what would you do if the enemy came over here, eh?”
“Oh,” said John, “that’s the simplest thing on earth. Why, shure, I’d enlist for foreign service then.”
Private John Mackay was pondering over the common problem of “raising the wind.” He was absolutely stony, hadn’t even the money to buy himself a packet of “fags.” But as he pondered an idea of striking originality took shape, which so delighted him with its simplicity that he immediately put it into practice.
Entering a hut, which, along with hundreds of others, Kitchener has caused to be built to protect the soldiers from the changes of weather, he called to attention the party of new recruits.
“Gentlemen,” he began, as he produced a highly-polished silver watch, “I have here a watch to sell. I already have a wristlet watch”—here he used the conventional lie—“so there is no use keeping this one. Now, what do you offer for it?” The question was addressed to no one in particular.