_Merc._ Whatever I am, I will be Sosia, as long as I please; and whenever you visit me, you shall be sure of the civility of the cudgel.
_Sos._ If you will promise to beat me into the house, you may begin when you please with me; but to be beaten out of the house, at dinner-time, flesh and blood can never bear it.
[MERCURY _beats him about, and_ SOSIA _is still making towards the Door; but_ MERCURY _gets betwixt, and at length drives him off the Stage_.
_Phæd._ In the name of wonder, what are you, that are Sosia, and are not Sosia?
_Merc._ If thou would'st know more of me, my person is freely at thy disposing.
_Phæd._ Then I dispose of it to you again; for 'tis so ugly, 'tis not for my use.
_Merc._ I can be ugly, or handsome, as I please; go to bed old, and rise young. I have so many suits of persons by me, I can shift them when I will.
_Phæd._ You are a fool, then, to put on your worst clothes, when you come a-wooing.
_Merc._ Go to; ask no more questions. I am for thy turn; for I know thy heart, and see all thou hast about thee.
_Phæd._ Then you can see my backside too; there's a bargain for you.
_Merc._ In thy right pocket:--let me see; three love letters from judge Gripus, written to the bottom, on three sides; full of fustian passion, and hearty nonsense: as also, in the same pocket, a letter of thine intended to him, consisting of nine lines and a half, scrawled and false spelled, to show thou art a woman; and full of fraudulence, and equivocations, and shoeing-horns of love to him; to promise much, and mean nothing; to show, over and above, that thou art a mere woman.
_Phæd._ Is the devil in you, to see all this? Now, for heaven's sake, do not look in t'other pocket.
_Merc._ Nay, there's nothing there, but a little godly prayer-book, and a bawdy lampoon, and----
_Phæd._ [_Giving a great frisk._] Look no farther, I beseech you.
_Merc._ Which you purloined last night from Bromia.
_Phæd._ Keep my counsel, or I am undone for ever.
_Merc._ No; I'll mortify thee, now I have an handle to thy iniquity, if thou wilt not love me.
_Phæd._ Well, if you'll promise me to be secret, I will love you; because indeed I dare do no other.
_Merc._ 'Tis a good girl; I will be secret: and, further, I will be assisting to thee in thy filching; for thou and I were born under the same planet.