[65] It had happened as I thought. There were some in the council who refused to sign, some because they had not been present at the time of the procedure, and others because they had not seen on what the sentence was founded; but they were nevertheless compelled to sign with the others, on the peril of the king's displeasure. [Marginal note.]
[66] In the margin is added, 'and asked whether I was permitted to appeal against this sentence. All were silent.'
[E19] A line has been drawn in the MS. through the two last paragraphs, and their contents transferred to the continuation of the Preface.
They went away, leaving me full of anxiety, sighing and weeping--a sad and miserable captive woman, forsaken by all; without help, exposed to power and violence, fearing every moment that her husband might fall into their hands, and that they might vent their malice on him. God performed on that day a great miracle, by manifesting His power in my weakness, preserving my brain from bewilderment, and my tongue from overflowing with impatience. Praised be God a thousand times! I will sing Thy praise, so long as my tongue can move, for Thou wast at this time and at all times my defence, my rock, and my shield!
When the gentlemen were gone away, the prison governor came and the women, and a stool was spread by the side of my bed. The prison governor said to me, 'Eat, Leonora; will you not eat?' As he said this, he threw a knife to me on the bed. I took up the knife with angry mind, and threw it on the ground. He picked up the knife, saying, 'You are probably not hungry? No, no! you have had a breakfast to-day which has satisfied you, have you not? Is it not so?' Well, well, come dear little women (addressing the two women), let us eat something! You must be hungry, judging from my own stomach.' When they had sat down to table, he began immediately to cram himself, letting it fall as if inadvertently from his mouth, and making so many jokes that it was sad to see how the old man could not conceal his joy at my unhappiness.
When the meal was finished, and the prison governor had gone away, Anna sat down by my bed and began to speak of the sorrow and affliction which we endure in this world, and of the joy and delights of heaven; how the pain that we suffer here is but small compared with eternal blessedness and joy, wherefore we should not regard suffering, but should rather think of dying with a good conscience, keeping it unsullied by confessing everything that troubles us, for there is no other way. 'God grant,' she added, 'that no one may torment himself for another's sake.' After having repeated this remark several times, she said to me, 'Is it not true, my lady?' 'Yes, certainly it is true,' I replied; 'you speak in a Christian manner, and according to the scriptures.' 'Why will you, then,' she went on to say, 'let yourself be tormented for others, and not say what you know of them?' I asked whom she meant. She answered, 'I do not know them.' I replied, 'Nor do I.' She continued in the same strain, however, saying that she would not suffer and be tormented for the sake of others, whoever they might be; if they were guilty they must suffer; she would not suffer for them; a woman was easily led away, but happiness was more than all kindred and friends.