THE TRUE PATRIOT
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No. 23. TUESDAY, April 8, 1746.
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— Insanus paucis videatur eo quod
Maxima pars hominum morbo jactatur come. HOR.
I HAVE heard of a man who believed there was no real existence in the world but himself; and that whatever he saw without him was mere phantom and illusion.
This philosopher, I imagine, hath not had many followers in theory; and yet if we were to derive the principles of mankind from their practice, we should be almost persuaded that somewhat like this madness had possessed not only particular men, but their several orders and professions. For though they do not absolutely deny all existence to other persons and things, yet it is certain they hold them of no consequence, and little worth their consideration, unless they trench somewhat towards their own order or calling.
As an instance of this, let us observe three or four members of any profession met together in a general company, though it be never so large, they make no scruple of engrossing the whole conversation, and turning it to their own profession, without the least consideration of all the other persons present.
Another example of the same temper may be seen in the monopolizing particular words, and confining their meaning to their own purposes, as if the rest of the world had in reality no right to their application. A signal instance of which is in the adjective good. A word which of all others mankind would least wish to be debarred from the use of, or from appropriating to themselves and their friends.
Now, when the divine, the free-thinker, the citizen, the whig, the tory, &c., pronounce such an individual to be a good man, it is plain that they have all so many different meanings; and he may be a very good man in the opinion of one in the company, who would be a very bad one in that of all the others.
I remember to have supped last winter at a surgeon's, where were present some others of the faculty. The gentleman of the house declared he had a very good subject above in the garret. As the gentleman who said this was, I knew, himself as good a subject as any in the kingdom, I could not avoid surprise at his choosing to confine such a person in a cold night, in such a place; but I soon found my mistake, and that this good subject had been hanged the day before for a most heinous felony.
An error of the same kind once happened to me amongst some gentlemen of the army, who all agreed that one Mr. Thunderson was the best man in England. I own I was somewhat staggered when I heard he was a corporal of grenadiers; but how much more was I astonished when I found that he had half a dozen wives, and was the wickedest fellow in the whole regiment.
I cannot quit this head without remarking that much inconvenience may arise from these mistakes; and one indeed happened in the last-mentioned instance; for a grave wealthy widow, of above forty, in the town where the regiment was quartered, having doubtless heard the same character of this man from his officers, and misunderstanding them, as I myself had done before their explanation, fell in love with his goodness, and married him. A third example may be drawn from the attention of the readers of books, or the spectators at plays. I have somewhere heard of a Geographer who received no other pleasure from the Aeneid of Virgil, than by tracing out the Voyage of Aeneas in the map. To which I may add a certain coachmaker, who having sufficient Latin to read the story of Phäeton in the Metamorphosis, shook his head that so fine a genius for making chariots as Ovid had, was thrown away on making poems.
This selfish attention (if I may so call it) in the spectators at our theatres must be evident to all who have ever frequented them. Every joke on a courtier's not paying his debts, is sure to receive a thundering applause from the pit and galleries. This debt is, however, paid by the boxes, on the first facetious allusion to horns, or any other symbol of cuckoldom. Indeed, the whole house are seldom unanimous in their claps, unless when the ridicule is against the ministry, the law, or the clergy; whence, I suppose, that as government, law, and religion are looked upon as the great grievances of the nation, the whole audience think themselves alike interested in their demolition.