At length, with near four bottles in his pate, He saw the moon shining on Shove's brass plate, When reading, "Please to ring the bell," And being civil beyond measure,
"Ring it!" says Toby,--"very well; I'll ring it with a deal of pleasure." Toby, the kindest soul in all the town, Gave it a jerk that almost jerked it down.
He waited full two minutes,--no one came; He waited full two minutes more;--and then Says Toby, "If he's deaf, I'm not to blame; I'll pull it for the gentleman again."
But the first peal woke Isaac in a fright, Who, quick as lightning, popping up his head, Sat on his head's antipodes, in bed, Pale as a parsnip,--bolt upright.
At length he wisely to himself doth say, calming his fears.-- "Tush! 't is some fool has rung and run away;" When peal the second rattled in his ears.
Shove jumped into the middle of the floor; And, trembling at each breath of air that stirred, He groped down stairs, and opened the street door, While Toby was performing peal the third.
Isaac eyed Toby, fearfully askant, And saw he was a strapper, stout and tall; Then put this question, "Pray, sir, what d'ye want?" Says Toby, "I want nothing sir, at all."
"Want nothing! Sir, you've pulled my bell, I vow, As if you'd jerk it off the wire." Quoth Toby, gravely making him a bow, "I pulled it, sir, at your desire."
"At mine?" "Yes, yours; I hope I've done it well. High time for bed, sir; I was hastening to it; But if you write up, 'Please to ring the bell,' Common politeness makes me stop and do it."
A milkmaid, who poised a full pail on her head, Thus mused on her prospects in life, it is said: "Let me see,--I should think that this milk will procure One hundred good eggs, or fourscore, to be sure.
"Well then,--stop a bit,--it must not be forgotten, Some of these may be broken, and some may be rotten; But if twenty for accident should be detached, It will leave me just sixty sound eggs to be hatched.
"Well, sixty sound eggs,--no, sound chickens, I mean: Of these some may die,--we'll suppose seventeen, Seventeen! not so many--say ten at the most, Which will leave fifty chickens to boil or to roast.
"But then there's their barley: how much will they need? Why, they take but one grain at a time when they feed,-- So that's a mere trifle; now then, let us see, At a fair market price how much money there'll be.