Ulenspiegel and Lamme, each mounted on an ass, which Simon Simonsen had given them, one of the faithfuls of the Prince of Orange, went everywhere, warning the burgesses of the black designs of the king of blood, and ever on the watch to discover news coming from Spain.
They sold vegetables, being clad like country folk, and haunted all the markets.
Coming back from the Brussels market, they saw in a stone house, on the Brick Quay, in a low chamber, a handsome dame clad in satin, high coloured, well bosomed, and with a lively eye.
She was saying to a fresh young cookmaid:
"Scour me this pan, I do not like rust sauce."
Ulenspiegel put his nose in at the window.
"I," said he, "I like every sauce, for a hungry belly is no great picker and chooser among fricassees."
"Who," said she, "is this fellow that interferes with my soup?"
"Alas! fair dame," answered Ulenspiegel, "if you would only make it in my company, I would teach you travellers' stews unknown to fair dames that sit at home."
"He is a pretty fellow," said the cookmaid to the dame. "Let us bring him in and let him tell us his adventures."
"But there are two of them," said the dame.
"I will look after one," replied the maid.
"Madame," said Ulenspiegel, "we are two, it is true, myself and my poor Lamme, who cannot carry five pounds on his back, but carries five hundred on his stomach in meats and drinks with the best will in the world."
"My son," said Lamme, "do not mock at an unhappy man to whom it costs so much to fill his paunch."
"It will not cost thee a liard to-day," said the dame. "Come within, both of you."
"But," said Lamme, "there are also two asses upon which we are."
"Pecks of corn," replied the dame, "are nowise lacking in the stable of the Count of Meghem."
The cookmaid left her pan and drew into the yard Ulenspiegel and Lamme bestriding their asses, which began to bray incontinent.
"That," said Ulenspiegel, "is the flourish for food near at hand. They are trumpeting their joy, the poor asses!"
And having both dismounted, Ulenspiegel said to the cookmaid:
"If you were a she-ass, would you like an ass like me?"
"If I was a woman," she replied, "I should like a young man with a jolly face."
"What are you, then, being neither woman nor ass?" asked Lamme.