Here the intelligent jury turned towards one another, and after a moment or two announced, through their foreman (who was a general-dealer in old metal, in a dark street over the water), that if they heard a witness or two to the young man’s character that would be enough for them.
Witnesses, therefore, were called to character, and the young man was promptly acquitted, the jury appending to their verdict that he left the Court without a stain upon his character.
“Bean’t I ’lowed to call witnesses to charickter?” asks the Prosecutor.
“Oh, no,” replied Mr. Nimble; “we know your character pretty well.”
“He wants to know, my lord,” says Mr. Nimble, laughing, “if he may call witnesses to character!”
“Oh dear, no,” says the Judge; “you were not being tried.”
Now many persons might have been of a different opinion from his lordship on this point. Snooks for one, I think; for he gave a great loud vulgar haw! haw! haw! and said, “I could ha’ gien him a charakter.”
“May the prisoner have his watch, my lord?” asks Mr. Nimble.
“O, yes,” said his lordship, “to be sure. Give the prisoner his watch.”
Mr. Alibi is stricken with a thunderbolt—interview with Horatio and Mr. Prigg.
The “round square,” as the facetious Don called the new style of putting the round judicial pegs into the square judicial holes, had indeed been applied with great effect on this occasion; for I perceived that Mr. Alibi, remarkable man, was not only engaged on the part of the Crown to prosecute, but also on that of the prisoner to defend. And this fact came to my knowledge in the manner following:
When Mr. Bumpkin got into the lower part of that magnificent pile of buildings which we have agreed to call the Heart of Civilisation, he soon became the centre of a dirty mob of undersized beings who were anxious to obtain a sight of him; and many of whom were waiting to congratulate their friend, the engraver. Amidst the crowd was Mr. Alibi. That gentleman had no intention of meeting Mr. Bumpkin any more, for certain expenses were due to him as a witness, and it had long been a custom at the Old Bailey, that if the representative of the Crown did not see the witnesses the expenses due to them would fall into the Consolidated Fund, so that it was a clear gain to the State if its representative officers did not meet the witnesses. On this occasion, however, Mr. Alibi ran against his client accidentally, and being a courteous gentleman, could not forbear condoling with him on the unsuccessful termination of his case.