"Just the weather for receiving a sharp retort," observed our laughing Philosopher, with his snow-boots on. Naturally his friend wished to know why. "Because," replied Dr. CHUCKLER, "with the temperature below zero, no one can object to having _a wrap over the knuckles_." Then away he went merrily over the unartificial ice on the Serpentine.
[_À propos_ of cropping dogs' ears, a letter from Sir F. KNOLLYS appeared last week in the _Stock-Keeper_, informing an inquirer that H.R.H. had never allowed any dog of his to be "mutilated," and was pleased to hear that "owners of dogs had agreed to abandon so objectionable a practice."]
We humbly thank the Prince of WALES, Henceforth we'll keep our ears and tails Intact, and shall not dread the shears Which used to crop our tails and ears. As novelists in magazines, And writers of dramatic scenes, By editorial scissors caught Object to have their tales cut short, So we, gay dogs: for gay we'll be, Henceforth the best of company! Convivial we around a joint, And not a tail without a point. Not cropped like convicts from the gaols! "Ear! Ear!" and "Bless the Prince of WALES!"
MUSICAL NOTE.--The title of a song, "_Come where the Booze is Cheaper_," has become widely known owing to a recent trial. We believe we are correct in saying that this song about "the Booze" is _not_ published by the well-known firm of "BOOSEY & CO."
(_By Mr. Punch's own Short Story-teller._)
I ought to mention that the Ranee, the aunt of my darling CHUDDAH, was as susceptible as she was haughty and ferocious. During my stay in the capital I had had several interviews with her, and I could not disguise from myself--why should I?--that she regarded me with no common favour. Indeed, she had taken the somewhat extreme step of informing me semi-officially (so that she might afterwards, if necessary, be at liberty to disavow it) that, if I would only consent to marry her, she would undertake to poison Sir BONAMY BATTLEHORN. I should thus be elevated not only to the supreme command of the British forces, but also to the throne of the Diamond City. But I withstood her blandishments, captivated, as I was, by the tender maidenly loveliness of CHUDDAH, and the wicked old woman had sworn to have her revenge. I had, of course, a staunch ally in her brother, the MEEBHOY, but in his disabled condition, that veteran warrior could be of little real use to me. Still he knew of my love for his niece CHUDDAH, and, knowing all my worth, he had already consecrated with his blessing our prospective union. On this particular evening I found CHUDDAH in her cosy little boudoir alone, save for the presence of her stout and comfortable old Ayah or Nana. The darling girl sprang up as I entered the room and threw herself into my arms in a passion of affection. I gently disengaged her arms from about my neck, and proceeded, as best I could, to inform her that I had come to take leave of her for a short time. Her grief was terrible to witness.