Waking up in the morning, to a virtuous man, iz the same thing az being born agin.
"Necessity iz the mother ov invenshun," and _Pattent Wright_ iz the father.
It dun me good to hear a poor brute whinner in Broadway yesterday. I waz glad that thare waz one stage hoss in New York citty whoze heart wasn't dead broke.
Death iz the only thing in this life that iz certain; and even that ain't always a safe investment.
Rumor iz a vagrant without a home, and lives upon what it kan pick up.
The gratest viktory for mankind that hav ever bin won, hav bin won by the rod and the katechism.
The lion and the lamb may, possibly, sumtime lay down in this world together for a fu minnits, but when the lion kums tew git up, the lamb will be missing.
Chastity iz like glassware--too much frost in it makes it more brittle.
Virtew, backed up by courage, iz the perfekshun ov human natur. I don't reckon mercy nor pity always amung the virtews; they are often only amable weaknesses. Justis iz the square root ov awl the virtews. I wouldn't hav enny mercy nor pitty hove out for rubbish; neither would i hav a man think, bekauze he melts at the anguish ov the viscious, that it iz virtew that ails him.
Bachelors are alwus a braggin ov their freedom!!--freedom to darn their own stockings, and poultiss their own shins! I had rather be a widdower once in 2 years, reglar, than tew be a grunting, old, hair-dyed bachelor only for 90 days.
The lazyest man that i kan think ov now, waz Israel Dunbar, ov Billingsville. He dried up a new milch cow in milkin her 3 times, and planted an aker of beans, last spring, awl in one hill. He iz 45 years old, and hain't had the meazles yet; he haz alwus bin too lazy tew ketch them. He had one son, who was jist like him. This boy died when he waz 18 years old, in crossing a korn-field; the punkin-vines took after him and smothered him to death.
If we could see the sekret motives that prompt even the good ackshuns ov men, we should see more tew reprove than admire.
The best specimens ov calm resignashun tew their fate that I hav met with thus far, hav been amung thoze who had an inkum ov 40 thousand dollars a year, less government tax.
Diogenes and Seneca were two az grate philosophers az the world haz ever produced; one lived in a tub, and the other in a palace.