After two months’ labor in South-western Virginia, I returned to my home in L----, near two hundred miles distant from A----, and devoted a month to correspondence and adjusting accounts with over fifty colporteurs I had now employed.
Though L---- had been my home for over two years, I had never had time to visit all the families with our books and tracts. I had often determined to do it, but other labors had prevented. The number of warm friends and liberal contributors in and around the town seemed to lay special claims on me to do the work, and I resolved to spend the months of January and February laboring in the town and vicinity.
At this time it was remarked by the ministers and praying people of God, that they had not felt such a spiritual dearth there for many years. The ball-room was better attended than the churches, and the young seemed to be rushing into sin with greediness. My own soul too was in darkness, and my strength nearly prostrated. My devotions, public and private, were heartless. I was even tempted to leave my work and engage in some secular business.
At last I told a few of the most pious whom I knew about the desire I had to visit the families, and that the state of my own heart was such that I was prevented from doing it. They urged me forward, and promised to pray for me. I set day after day to begin; but when the day and hour came for me to start, my heart would fail, and Satan seemed to have some excuse always ready. At last I entered into covenant with God to begin the next day; but when the morning came my hard, cowardly heart failed me. I tried to pray again and again. I put it off till the afternoon, with a hope of getting strength. A carpet-bag had been standing full of books and tracts for some days waiting, and they seemed to rebuke my cowardice.
At last I thought that if Moses had not stepped into the Red sea, the waters would never have receded. The next morning still found me at home. As soon as my breakfast was over I took the carpet-bag and books to a room and earnestly prayed over them, and then started.
The next neighbor to me was a Mr. H----. His wife and mother-in-law were devoted Christians, but he was careless about religion, and so was his brother, a young man that had his home there. I dealt faithfully with them, and prayed with them. Each of them bought a book, and I left them in tears. Soon after the young man professed religion, and the other remained serious as long as I knew him. All my fears were now gone. A few minutes before I was ashamed to own Christ before a kitchen-maid; now I could face the world, and the promise was realized, “My strength is made perfect in weakness.”