PERSECUTED for the Devil's sake, iz what sinners git for their allegiance.
SUM people won't beleave enny thing they kant prove; the things i can't prove, are the very things i beleave the most.
PRIDE never shows itself more disgustingly than in the pomp ov a phuneral.
HAPPINESS iz not idleness, but its spirit iz az free from labor, as the life ov a yearling heifer.
GOOD examples amung the rulers, are the best laws they kan enakt.
THE devil iz probably the best judge ov human natur that ever lived, and he must hav beleaved in the doktrine ov total depravity, or he wouldn't hav undertook tew tempt the Saviour.
A "GENTLEMAN about town," iz one who pays cash for everything except hiz debts.
MONEY iz like charity, it kivvers a multitude ov sins.
A PEDANT iz one who fills himself in a cellar with the klam broth ov literature, and then picks hiz teeth in the society ov the learned.
THARE iz but little, if any, cerimony, between two wize men, but between a wize man and a phool, cerimony iz the only thing that will make a phool feel respektable.
WHEN yu find a man who iz very solisitus about the wellfair ov everyboddy, yu kan safely put him down az one who iz hunting for a misfortune.
One ov the hardest men in the world tew collekt a debt ov iz the one who iz alwus willing tew pay, but never reddy.
Trew liberty konsists in making good laws, and then obeying them.
I suppoze we never shall kno in this life how big a phool a man kan be, bekauze he iz not allowed tew hav all his wants and vanities gratified.
When i diskover that all hatred, avarice, ambishun, vanity, and envy, have left this world, then i am going tew hunt for a Christian.
Yung man, larn tew listen!--i don't mean at a key-hole. Thare iz plenty ov happiness in this life if we only knu it: and one way tew find it iz, when we hav got the old rumatiz tew thank Heaven that it aint the old gout.
Men are blamed for sticking their noze into things; but it iz the only way a dog tracks out hiz game.
The man who kan live in idleness successfully, must either be too pure or too lazy to commit enny sin. Poetri iz a disseaze common tew all the literati: sum hav it quite hard, but most hav it dredful lite.
Inkredulity iz the wisdum ov a phool; it iz only a wize man who kan afford tew be credulous.