'Not far from hence doth dwell A cunning man, hight Sidrophel, That deals in Destiny's dark counsels, And sage opinions of the Moon sells; To whom all people, far and near, On deep importances repair: When brass and pewter hap to stray, And linen slinks out o' the way; When geese and pullen are seduced, And sows of sucking pigs are choused; When cattle feel indisposition, And need th' opinion of physician; When murrain reigns in hogs or sheep, And chickens languish of the pip; When yeast and outward means do fail, And have no pow'r to work on ale; When butter does refuse to come, And love proves cross and humoursome; To him with questions, and with urine, They for discov'ry flock, or curing.'
After this humorous _reductio ad absurdum_ of Lilly's pretensions as an astrologer, the satirist proceeds to allude to his dealings with the Puritan party:
'Do not our great Reformers use This Sidrophel to forebode news; To write of victories next year, And castles taken, yet i' th' air? Of battles fought at sea, and ships Sunk, two years hence, the last eclipse?'
The satirist then devotes himself to a minute exposure of Lilly's pretensions:
'He had been long t'wards mathematics, Optics, philosophy, and statics; Magic, horoscopy, astrology, And was old dog at physiology; But as a dog that turns the spit Bestirs himself, and plies his feet To climb the wheel, but all in vain, His own weight brings him down again, And still he's in the self-same place Where at his setting out he was; So in the circle of the arts Did he advance his nat'ral parts ... Whate'er he laboured to appear, His understanding still was clear; Yet none a deeper knowledge boasted, Since old Hodge Bacon and Bob Grosted.'
(Robert Grostête, Bishop of Lincoln [_temp._ Henry III.], whose learning procured him among the ignorant the reputation of being a conjurer.)
'He had read Dee's prefaces before The Dev'l and Euclid o'er and o'er; And all th' intrigues 'twixt him and Kelly, Lascus, and th' Emperor, would tell ye; But with the moon was more familiar Than e'er was almanack well-willer; Her secrets understood so clear, That some believed he had been there; Knew when she was in fittest mood For cutting corns or letting blood ...'