We should liv in this life az tho we war walking on glaze ice, liable tew fall at enny moment, and tew be laffed at bi the bystanders.
Men, if they ain't too lazy, liv sumtimes till they are 80, and destroy the time a good deal az follows: the fust 30 years they spend throwing stones at a mark, the seckond 30 they spend in examining the mark tew see whare the stuns hit, and the remainder iz divided, in cussing the stun-throwing bizzness, and nussing the rumatizz.
This setting down and folding our arms, and waiting for sumthing tew turn up, iz just about az rich a spekulashun az going out into a four hundred acre lot, setting down on a sharp stone, with a pail between our knees, and waiting for a cow tew back up and be milked.
Thare are people who dont do ennything but watch their simptoms. I hav seen dogs ackt just az sensible, i hav seen a rat tarrier watch the simptoms ov a knot hole, in a board fence, all day, for sum rat tew cum out, but no rat didn't cum out.
The man who cant do any hurt in this world cant do any good.
The grate art ov keeping friends iz tew keep them in expectancy.
After we hav got all a mans sekrets out ov him then we either dispise him or pitty him, and to be pittyed iz no better than to be dispised.
Thare are people so addikted tew exagerashun, that they kant tell the truth without lieing.
Thare is no better evidence ov true friendship than tew speak ov a mans vices tew hiz face, and ov his virtews behind hiz back.
I am rather favourably impressed with _Gin_ and _Milk_, az an extrakt, and think a minister ov the gospel mite contend with sum ov it, on the sli, successfully, but when he cums to reckomend it tew hiz people, i hav mi doubts about it, unless he knows hiz people better than i do.
A man may possibly git the remembrance ov his natiff country out ov hiz mind, but he never kan out ov hiz heart.
I don't suppoze thare haz ever lived in this world, a man who haz improved the whole ov hiz opportunity and abilitys.
Wimmin quite often possess superior tallents, but their genius lays in their pashuns.
Love haz a most vorashus appetight, but a poor digestion, what it feeds on most alwus distresses it. Prudes, are coquets, gone to seed. It iz our duty tew pray for them who revile and persekute us, but i dont kno az we are obliged tew let them kno it.