While Helen Dear is gettin' into a coat that couldn't have cost a nickel under five thousand bucks, the Kid gets up and calls Van Ness and G. Herbert aside. They was gone about five minutes. When they came back, Helen Dear is just puttin' on her hat and suddenly the thing slips out of her hands and slides down over one eye.
Then--excuse me a minute, I'm in convulsions! I'll never forget it if I live to see Bryan vote against prohibition! There's Helen Dear gettin' red in the face and strugglin' with that hat and--
"Ha, ha, ha, ha!" shrieks Van Ness--_the guy that had lost his laugher_!--"Ha, ha, ha, ha!" he yells, holdin' the chair so's he can stand up and pointin' at Helen's hat. "You ought to go in vaudeville!" he hollers. "You'd be a riot with that act! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!"
Miss Vincent gasps, the Kid grins, and I all but fainted. Here's this guy laughin' his head off for the first time in ten years and--look at the time he picked to do it! Sweet Cookie!
Helen Dear turns eighteen shades of red and fights for her breath like a fish when you drag it over the side of the boat. Then up steps little G. Herbert. His eyes is kinda glassy, but his face is set and hard. His spine is as straight as a flag pole and he sticks a piece of glass over one eye, just like Van Ness used to do! Dignity? Why he could have took Van Ness when that guy was right--_and give him lessons_!
"What does this mean, sir!" he says, walkin' up to Van Ness who is holdin' his sides and fallin' off the chair. Laugh? That bird was in hysterics!
"Ha, ha, ha!" bellers Van Ness. "Get a couple of good camera men quick! Ha, ha, ha, ha! It looks like she got hit with a pie!"
"You infernal idiot!" roars G. Herbert. "How dare you laugh at this lady?"
"Oh, boy!" answers Van Ness, finally rollin' off his chair. "Ha, ha, ha, ha!"
"Come, Herbert!" pipes Helen. "We will go back together and my answer is Yes! Thank Heaven that man stands exposed in his true character!"
"Thas' right!" nods Herbert, waggin' his head and glarin' at all of us. "C'mon--hic--Cmon, M' dear!"
Somethin' comes staggerin' up and grabs the Kid by the arm. It was Tony.
"Aha!" he yells. "Who'sa taka my bottle gin, bottle bourbon? _Sapristi_! You bigga stiffa, I--"