RESPECTABILITY, n. The offspring of a _liaison_ between a bald head and a bank account.
RESPIRATOR, n. An apparatus fitted over the nose and mouth of an inhabitant of London, whereby to filter the visible universe in its passage to the lungs.
RESPITE, n. A suspension of hostilities against a sentenced assassin, to enable the Executive to determine whether the murder may not have been done by the prosecuting attorney. Any break in the continuity of a disagreeable expectation.
Altgeld upon his incandescent bed Lay, an attendant demon at his head.
"O cruel cook, pray grant me some relief-- Some respite from the roast, however brief."
"Remember how on earth I pardoned all Your friends in Illinois when held in thrall."
"Unhappy soul! for that alone you squirm O'er fire unquenched, a never-dying worm.
"Yet, for I pity your uneasy state, Your doom I'll mollify and pains abate.
"Naught, for a season, shall your comfort mar, Not even the memory of who you are."
Throughout eternal space dread silence fell; Heaven trembled as Compassion entered Hell.
"As long, sweet demon, let my respite be As, governing down here, I'd respite thee."
"As long, poor soul, as any of the pack You thrust from jail consumed in getting back."
A genial chill affected Altgeld's hide While they were turning him on t'other side.
RESPLENDENT, adj. Like a simple American citizen beduking himself in his lodge, or affirming his consequence in the Scheme of Things as an elemental unit of a parade.
The Knights of Dominion were so resplendent in their velvet- and-gold that their masters would hardly have known them.
RESPOND, v.i. To make answer, or disclose otherwise a consciousness of having inspired an interest in what Herbert Spencer calls "external coexistences," as Satan "squat like a toad" at the ear of Eve, responded to the touch of the angel's spear. To respond in damages is to contribute to the maintenance of the plaintiff's attorney and, incidentally, to the gratification of the plaintiff.
RESPONSIBILITY, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one's neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
Alas, things ain't what we should see If Eve had let that apple be; And many a feller which had ought To set with monarchses of thought, Or play some rosy little game With battle-chaps on fields of fame, Is downed by his unlucky star And hollers: "Peanuts!--here you are!"