A poor industrious hatter I stand here (_cheers_), And standing now proceed to take that _cheer_. You know me!
_Wat._ Was I ever base corruption's _Toole_? Patriots, potwallopers, and townsmen dear, Voters unbribable and pure, look 'ere. Your sympathy my warmest thanks evokes, For you I'd brave the very _block_--my _blokes_! Tho' yonder dandy may treat me with scorn, I was of poor but honest parents born. Just twenty years ago, in ragged gown And soleless shoes, I trudged into this town, With one-and-ninepence and two plated spoons Within the pockets of my pantaloons.
_Beaumanners._ Where did you get the spoons from?
_Wat._ See how malice Ever conspires to drug the poor man's chalice! Where did I get the spoons from? Well, so far As I remember--from my grandmamma! But you, my friends, my whole career have seen. People of Essex, both these hands are clean (_holds out his hands_).
_Wat._ They is! Who's that? Some tyrant's minion. Gag him! and vote for freedom of opinion,
Few are the promises you'll hear from me. Send me to Westminster as your M.P., And you shall see----
_Wat._ Here's what you shall see: Wealth, splendour, carriages and four--that's what; The strongest ale a halfpenny a pot, Taxes abolished, grievances amended, And all the theatres' free lists ne'er suspended, Washing for nothing, pickles, pastry, fun, And Wallsend coals at eighteenpence a ton. Give me your votes, and by next Michaelmas quarter Each man shall have the moon who owns a pail of water. Then a bold peasantry, their country's pride, Shall live on eggs and bacon neatly fried. The workhouse poor shall feed on buttered crumpets, And eat roast mutton to the sound of trumpets; The beggar smoke the best Bengal cheroots, And have another man to clean his boots.
_Beaumanners._ Suppose to this the other makes objection?
_Wat._ You hear my honourable friend's reflection. In such a case, deny it if you can, It's plain that we must hang the other man. I've said my say; the Commons are my goal; I am a hatter--let me head the poll.
Beaumanners, who is in love with Tyler's daughter Ellen (Miss Constance Loseby), was represented by Miss Ellen Farren,[35] to whom Mr. Sala assigned the delivery of some of his best puns--as, for instance:--