_Joe's Wife._ I thart it wur th' _hostridge_ as hacted that away.
_Joe._ Ostridges ain't gotten they long twisted harns as iver I heard on.
_His Wife (stopping before another den)._ Oh, my blessed! 'Ere be a queer lookin' critter, do 'ee look at 'en, JOE. What'll he be now?
_Joe._ How do 'ee suppose as I be gooin' to tell 'ee the name of 'en? He'll likely be a sart of a 'arse. [_Dubiously._
_His Wife._ They've a let 'en git wunnerful ontidy fur sure. 'Ere, Mister (_to Stranger_) can you tell us the name of that theer hanimal?
_His Wife._ Why, a noo _hanimal_, I s'pose.
_Joe._ Well, he bain't naw himprovement on th' hold 'uns, as _I_ can see. They'd better ha' left it aloan if they couldn't do naw better nor 'im. Dunno what things be coming to, hinventin' o' noo hanimals at this time o' day!
_A Boozed and Argumentative Rustic._ I sez as that 'un's a fawks, an' I'm ready to prove it on anny man.
_A Companion (soothingly)._ Naw, naw, 'e baint naw fawks. I dunno what 'tis,--but taint naw fawks nawhow.
_B. and A. Rustic._ I tell 'ee _'tis_ a fawks, I'm sure on it. (_To_ Mild Visitor.) _Baint'e_ a fawks, Master, eh?
_Mild Visitor._ Well, really, if you ask me, I should say it was a hyena.
_The Rustic's Comp._ A hyanna! ah, that's a deal moor like; saw 'tis!
_The Rustic._ A Pianner? do 'ee take me fur a vool? I knaws a pianner when I sees 'un. Farmer BROWN, 'e 'as a pianner, and 'tain't like naw fawks! I'll knack th' 'ed arf o' thee, tryin' to stoof me oop i' that way. Wheer be th' man as said 'twas a pianner? [Mild V. _has discreetly lost himself in the crowd_.
_Second Boy._ Sit a bit moor forrard, BILLY, cann't 'ee!
_First Boy._ _Cann't_, I tell 'ee, I be sittin' on th' scruff of 'is neck as 'tis.
_Third Boy._ I can see my vaither, I can. 'Ere, vaither, vaither, look at me--see wheer I be!
_Fourth Boy (a candid friend)._ Shoot oop, cann't 'ee, ya young gozzle-'ead! Think ya vaither niver see a hass on a hellyphant afoor!
_Fifth Boy._ These yere helliphants be main straddly roidin'. I wish 'e wudn't waak honly waun haff of 'en at oncest, loike. What do 'ee mean, a kitchin' 'old o' me behind i' that way, eh, JIMMY PASSONS!
_Sixth Boy._ _You'd_ ketch 'old o' hanything if you was like me, a slidin' down th' helliphant's ta-ail.