Landlords of inns near London are not usually very original in their views of life, and rarely advertise any spark of humour. Perhaps they take their duties to the public too seriously. Occasionally, however, one comes across evidence that the keeper of an inn is sufficiently detached in mind as to admit within the walls of his house of business a jest or two in print. These are usually framed and hung up in the bar, and as they have never been seen quite new, but are frequently fly-blown and yellow with age, it would seem to follow that the race of facetious landlords has come to an end. In the _Duke of Wellington Inn_, near High Beech, Epping Forest, the following rules hang in the bar. They are probably from their phraseology American in origin, and the second was evidently designed as a sarcastic if not effectual check upon manners and customs in business houses of the States.
1. A man is kept engaged in the yard to do all the CURSING and SWEARING at this establishment.
3. Our Potman or “Chucker Out” has won seventy-five prizes, and is an excellent shot with a Revolver.
4. The UNDERTAKER calls every morning FOR ORDERS.
5. The Lord helps those who help themselves; but the Lord help those that are caught helping themselves here.
This notice hangs in an old frame over the door. On an adjoining wall is the following:
1. Gentlemen upon entering will leave the door open or apologise.
2. Those having no business should remain as long as possible, take a chair and lean against the wall; it will preserve the wall and prevent it falling upon us.
3. Gentlemen are requested to smoke, especially during office hours; tobacco and segars of the finest brands will be supplied gratis.
4. Spit on the floor, as the spittoons are only for ornaments.
5. TALK LOUD or WHISTLE, especially when we are engaged. If this has not the desired effect, SING.
6. If we are in business conversation with anyone, gentlemen are requested not to wait until we are disengaged, but join us, as we are particularly fond of speaking to half a dozen or more at one time.
7. Profane language is expected at all times, especially if ladies are present.
8. Put your feet on the table, or lean against the desk. It will be of great assistance to those who are writing.