It iz a good thing for thoze who hav bin sinful tew turn over a nu leaf, but it often happens that, in doing this, they turn over two leaves at onst, and bekum so suddenly virtewous that they freeze up stiff.
It iz better tew kno nothing than tew kno jist enuff tew doubt and tew differ.
Charity is like a mule, a good servant but a bad master. When charity gits entire control ov a man's affairs, it runs the affairs and the man both into the ground.
Selfishness iz the alter which every man sets up in hiz soul and asks hiz conscience to be high priest ov the cerimonys.
Cunning, at best, only duz the dirty work ov wisdum, and tharefore i dispize it.
Hartes and dimonds are the two strong suits for a woman to hold--klubs and spades for man.
I kant see what woman wants enny more rights for; she beat the fust man born into the world out ov a ded sure thing, and she kan beat the last one with the same kards.
The man who kan stand abuse kan generally stand prosperity. The only way tew beat the devil iz tew fite him with the Bible in one hand and a sword in the other.
If i could only praktiss az well az i kan preach, i would not thank a man tew warrent me in this world nor in the world tew cum.
The kream ov a joke dont never lay on the top, but alwus at the bottom.
Whenever i see a man anxious tew git into a fite that dont belong tew him, i am alwus anxious tew hav him, for i kno he iz certain tew be the wust whipped man in the party.
About all thare iz in mans natur that iz natral iz hiz sins, and about all thare iz in his natur that iz kultivated iz hiz way ov hiding thoze sins.
Pashunce iz oftner the result ov numbness than it iz ov principle.
I dont kno how it iz with other pholks, but with me, the fall ov the Roman empire iz a grate deal eazier tew bear than a fall on the ice.
I dont think thare ever waz a human being yet, who haz met deth without expekting in the last extremity tew be saved from it; even our Saviour uttered that wonderful exklamashun, "My God! my God! why hast thou forsaken me?"
I am glad ov one thing, that i am keenly alive tew mental and phisikal suffering--i had az soon be a hydraulik ram az tew be able to sit down and hav a big dubble tooth jerked out without winking.