Mothers should approach this subject with tact and diplomacy, but they should, nevertheless, approach it with firm intentions to persuade their daughters to consider the situation from a common sense standpoint. The custom of the honeymoon survives because young brides do not appreciate the facts involved. It is the mother's duty to acquaint them with the truth, and no sensible mother will plan, or agree to a honeymoon that involves continuous discomfort and possible serious consequences to the health of her daughter at the beginning of what should be the happiest period of her life.
WHEN MARITAL RELATIONS ARE PAINFUL.--Nature did not intend that the act by which the earth is to be replenished should be painful. If therefore, pain is a constant characteristic of this function, it is an evidence that disease exists and it should be given attention at the earliest possible moment. A displaced, congested womb is most frequently the cause. Such displacements most likely are a result of imprudence in dress, constipation and general negligence on the part of the victim. To delay or postpone assistance in such cases is dangerous, while on the other hand, relief is prompt and as a rule satisfactory if taken in time.
TIMES WHEN MARITAL RELATIONS SHOULD BE SUSPENDED.--There are times when such relations are eminently improper. There are certain legitimate causes for denial by the wife.
Intoxication in the husband is a good reason for refusal. Idiots and epileptics have been produced as a result of one parent being intoxicated when fecundation took place. Many cases are on record whose history is well authenticated where the mental faculties of the offspring have been totally destroyed.
Convalescence from a severe sickness is a just cause for sexual abstinence. The existence of any local or constitutional disease which would be aggravated by marital relationship is also a just cause of refusal. The existence of a contagious disease renders a refusal valid. Sexual intercourse should never be permitted during the menses. Pregnancy is unquestionably a just cause for refraining from all marriage duties.
THE FIRST WEEKS AND MONTHS OF WIFEHOOD.--The daughter is established in her own home: she is now the young wife, the prospective mother. What can we say that will be helpful at this period--those wonderful first weeks and months of wifehood? Her guiding star will unquestionably be the unconscious lessons she has absorbed from the tactful talks with mother. She will unwittingly pattern her conduct, to a large extent, after her, and follow the routine mother adopted in the old home. But there is a new factor to be considered. Her life, present and future, her possibilities, her very happiness, is dependent upon the husband. The old saying, that, "you must live with a man to really know him," she will find to be all too true. The story of her future life might be safely told if we could know how she will meet the new vicissitudes. She has known her husband only as a sweetheart, she has clothed him with virtues that exist only in her imagination, will he measure up to her expectations? She is watchful and tactful,--the little mother-talks she remembers. She did not believe when mother told her, that he had qualities which she would only find out after marriage, but she knows now. She is learning that household duties are exacting and fretful; that, though married, life still has a few thorns. She finds out also that the long day, when husband is at business, affords many opportunities for reflection and serious thought. These moments of seeming leisure are the moments of destiny. They are the introspective moments, when she weighs and measures out for herself sympathy, if she is not made of the right stuff, or she makes strong resolutions, and prepares herself mentally to win out in the new life. They are the moments when her subconscious intelligence is trying to express itself in the spirit of truth and honesty, when she weighs and measures and analyses the exigencies of the new environment. Her destiny depends upon the inspiration that is impressed upon her brain as a result of these self-communings.