Thus I find myself placed between _fear_ and _doubt_--fear because of my evil words, and doubt about the faultlessness of my good words.
What shall I do, then? Shall I timidly withdraw from the words of the Lord: "By thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned"?--Shall I attempt to forget them, imagine that they were not meant for me, have no bearing upon me--or shall I try to avoid them as some fearfully avoid cemeteries at the midnight hour?
I must have these strange words clear in my mind. I must work them through. To stand between fear and doubt, timidly withdrawing from the words of my Lord! No, that cannot be possible. Where shall I seek refuge? Where shall I seek that explanation which reconciles me with the word of the Lord, and which brings peace into my soul?
I will seek refuge in the pledge of my baptism--as so many others have done in the hour of worry and distress. I let it pass upon my lips, and the word is: "I _renounce_ the devil and all his works and all his ways." But to renounce means that I break off from, separate myself from, and become a foe of, the evil one and all that is evil--also my own words. But can He, the fair judge, condemn me for that which I disavow and separate myself from, what I personally oppose?
This gives me surcease. The fear of my evil words must vanish, and, thus unburdened, I go on.
"I believe in God the Father Almighty, Maker of heaven and earth.... I believe in Jesus Christ His only Son, our Lord; who was conceived by the Holy Ghost, born of the Virgin Mary; suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, dead and buried; He descended into hell; the third day He arose again from the dead; He ascended into Heaven and sitteth on the right hand of God, the Father Almighty; from thence He shall come to judge the quick and the dead.... I believe in the Holy Ghost; the holy Christian church; the communion of saints; the forgiveness of sins; the resurrection of the body, and the life everlasting."
The word of the Apostles' Creed is the word of faith. And what did I say? I _believe_! It may be feebly, alas, but nevertheless--with all its frailty the heart embraces the word of faith, and doubt vanishes before this word.