_Huntsman_ (_to Boy, who is riding his second horse_). "Hi, there! What the doose are yer doin' of with that second 'oss?"
_Boy_ (_Irish, and only just come to the Hunt stables from a Racing Establishment_). "Arrah thin, if oi roides oi roides to win! and divil a second is he goin' to be at all, at all!!"
_Member of Hunt_ (_to Farmer_). "I wouldn't ride over those seeds if I were you. They belong to a disagreeable sort of fellow, who might make a fuss about it."
_Farmer._ "Well, sir, as him's me, he won't say nothing about it to-day."
[Illustration: (_Extract from a letter received by Mr. Shootall on the morning when hounds were expected to draw his covers_)
Sir,--Your esteemed order to hand. We regret that we are quite out of foxes at present; but, as you mentioned they were for children's pets, we thought guinea pigs might do instead, so are sending half a dozen to-day. Hoping, &c., &c.]
(_Pity the Sorrows of a poor Hunting Man!_)
_Sportsman_ (_suffering from intense aberration of mind in consequence of the weather, in reply to wife of his bosom_). "Put out? Why, o' course I'm put out. Been just through the village, and hang me if at least half a dozen fools haven't told me that it's nice seasonable weather!"
_Mr. Hardhit._ "Don't you think, Miss Highflier, that men look much better in pink--less like waiters?"
_Miss Highflier._ "Yes, but more like ringmasters--eh?"
[_Hardhit isn't a bit offended, but seizes the opportunity._
In mounting your horse, always stand facing his tail.]
[Illustration: The patent pneumatic tennis-ball hunting costume. Falling a pleasure.]
[Illustration: _Second Whip._ "G-aw-ne away!"
_Middle-aged Diana._ "Go on away, indeed! Impertinence! I'll go just when I'm ready!"]
_Fox-hunter._ "Here's a bore, Jack! The ground is half a foot thick with snow, and it's freezing like mad!"]
Sir Heavistone Stogdon unfortunately fell at a stiff bank and broke his collar-bone.
At the last moment, I regret to say, the fox got away.
[Illustration: BUGGLES WITH THE DEVON AND SOMERSET
He encounters a "coomb," and wonders if it is soft at the bottom.]
[Illustration: WITH THE DEVON AND SOMERSET
_Sportsman_ (_from the bog_). "Confound you, didn't you say there was a sound bottom here?"