Those who write to ask, may be divided into--
1.--Creditors. 2.--Constituents. 3.--Sons. 4.--Daughters. 5.--Their offspring. 6.--Nephews, nieces. 7.--Indistinct cousins, and 8.--Unknown, dear, and intimate friends.
1.--Debtors. 2.--Members of Parliament 3.--Fathers. 4.--Mothers. 5.--Their kin. 6.--Uncles. 7.--Aunts. 8.--Bilious and distant nabobs, and equally dear friends, who will do anything but what the askers want.
We are confident of ensuring the everlasting gratitude of the above parties by laying before them the proper formulæ for their respective purposes; and, therefore, as all the world is composed of two great classes, which, though they run into various ramifications, still retain their original distinguishing characteristics--namely, that of being either "debtors" or "creditors"--we will give the general information necessary for the construction of their future effusions.
From a wine-merchant, being a creditor, to a right honourable, being a debtor.
MY LORD,--I have done myself the honour of forwarding your lordship a splendid sample of exquisite Frontignac, trusting it will be approved of by your lordship. I remain, enclosing your lordship's small account, the payment of which will be most acceptable to your lordship's most
The sample is tolerable--send in thirty dozen--add them to your account--and let my steward have them punctually on December 17, 1849.
From a creditor, being a "victim," "schneider," "sufferer," or "tailor," to one who sets off his wares by wearing the same, being consequently a debtor.
HONOURED SIR,--I can scarcely express my delight at your kind compliments as to the fit and patterns of the last seventy-three summer waistcoats; the rest of the order is in hand. I enclose a small account of 490l. odd, which will just meet a heavy demand. Will you, sir, forward the same by return of post, to your obliged and devoted
From a constituent in the country, being a creditor "upon promises," to a returned member of Parliament in town.
DEAR SIR,--The enthusiastic delight myself (an humble individual) and the immense body of your enraptured constituents felt upon reading your truly patriotic, statesman-like, learned, straightforward and consistent speech, may be conceived by a person of your immense parliamentary imagination, but cannot be expressed by my circumscribed vocabulary. In stating that my trifling exertions for the return of such a patriot are more than doubly recompensed by your noble conduct, may I be allowed to suggest the earnest wish of my eldest son to be in town, for the pleasure of being near such a representative, which alone induces him to accept the situation of landing-waiter you so kindly insisted upon his preparing for. You will, I am sure, be happy to learn, the last baby, as you desired is christened after:--"the country's, the people's, nay, the world's member!"