In not a few houses the fine old fashion of saying grace is still observed and the guest should carefully watch his hostess for a cue as to how to conduct himself. A young woman who happened to be visiting in one of the older New England families chanced to take her first meal at the dinner hour. After a moment’s pause she was asked by her hostess to start the meal, and with best intentions she did so by passing a bread plate near her. To her dismay she afterward learned that she had been expected to say grace. Of course, such an incident could occur only at an informal dinner, but it serves to bring up the point that many a hostess embarrasses a guest by directly asking him to perform this service which a natural timidity or his being unaccustomed to it may make an ordeal for him. If a clergyman is present, respect to his position, whatever one’s own religious convictions or want of them, demands that he be asked to say grace.
At informal dinners the roast may be carved at the table if the hostess prefers this plan and if the host can be persuaded to do the carving and is able to do it skilfully and quietly. This plan, which is English in its origin, seems more hospitable in a way than the more formal custom of serving everything from side-tables, _a la Russe_. Undoubtedly there is a flavor of the hotel and restaurant about the Russian style that is less agreeable, though simpler and more expeditious. It may be remarked, however, that while it is of first importance that a dinner service should move promptly and that it should not at the outside take up more than two hours, anything that actually suggests haste is contrary to the spirit of the occasion.
When the meats are carved at the table the vegetables should be passed by the maid, as the guests may have a choice. For the person at the head of the table to serve both meat and vegetables is permissible only at a family dinner. In some households the host or hostess makes a specialty of salad dressing, and this course, also, is served at the table. As the salad bowl may be so arranged as to present a beautiful, as well as a delicious sight, the custom has more than one reason to recommend it.
As to who is served first there has been considerable discussion. The plan has recently come into favor in some houses to hand the first plate in each instance to the hostess in the thought that if there is anything wrong with the dish she may detect it before the guests are served. The usual plan, however, is to serve first the lady sitting at the host’s right hand, then all the other ladies, and lastly the men. Or, if two maids are serving, one may take one side of the table and one the other. The maid should hand the dishes on the left side of the guest. A clever maid can wait on eight people, provided the dinner is not too elaborate.