Whenever a particularly bad bit of road occurs, notice is given to the team by calling over their names, and by crying out “_arré, arré_,” gee-up, which is varied with “_firmé, firmé_,” steady, boy, steady! The names of the animals are always fine-sounding and polysyllabic; the accent is laid on the last syllable, which is always dwelt on and lengthened out with a particular emphasis--_Căpĭtănā-ā_--_Băndŏlĕrā-ā_--_Gĕnĕrălā-ā_--_Vălĕrŏsā-ā_. All this vocal driving is performed at the top of the voice, and, indeed, next to scaring away crows in a field, must be considered the best possible practice for the lungs. The team often exceeds six in number, and never is less; the proportion of females predominates: there is generally one male mule making the seventh, who is called “_el macho_,” the male par excellence, like the Grand Turk, or a substantive in a speech in Cortes, which seldom has less than half a dozen epithets: he invariably comes in for the largest share of abuse and ill usage, which, indeed, he deserves the most, as the male mule is infinitely more stubborn and viciously inclined than the female. Sometimes there is a horse of the Rosinante breed; he is called “_el cavallo_,” or rather, as it is pronounced, “_el căvăl yō-ō_.” The horse is always the best used of the team; to be a rider, “_caballero_,” is the Spaniard’s synonym for gentleman; and it is their correct mode of addressing each other, and is banded gravely among the lower orders, who never have crossed any quadruped save a mule or a jackass.
The driving a _coche de colleras_ is quite a science of itself, and is observed in conducting _diligences_; it amuses the Spanish “_majo_” or fancy-man as much as coach-driving does the fancy-man of England; the great art lies not in handling the ribbons, but in the proper modulation of the voice, since the cattle are always addressed individually by their names; the first syllables are pronounced very rapidly; the “_macho_,” the male mule, who is the most abused, is the only one who is not addressed by any names beyond that of his sex: the word is repeated with a voluble iteration; in order to make the two syllables longer, they are strung together thus, _măchŏ--măchŏ--măchŏ--măcho-ŏ_: they begin in semiquavers, flowing on crescendo to a semibreve or breve, so the four words are compounded into one polysyllable. The horse, _caballo_, is simply called so; he has no particular name of his own, which the female mules are never without, and which they perfectly know--indeed, the owners will say that they understand them, and all bad language, as well as Christian women, “_como Cristianas_;” and, to do the beasts justice, they seem more shocked and discomfited thereby than the bipeds who profess the same creed. If the animal called to does not answer by pricking up her ears, or by quickening her pace, the threat of “_lă vărā_,” the stick, is added--the last argument of Spanish drivers, men in office, and schoolmasters, with whom there is no sort of reason equal to that of the bastinado, “_no hay tal razon, como la del baston_.” It operates on the timorous more than “unadorned eloquence.” The Moors thought so highly of the bastinado, that they held the stick to be a special gift from Allah to the faithful. It holds good, _à priori_ and _à posteriori_, to mule and boy, “_al hijo y mulo, para el culo_;” and if the “_macho_” be in fault, and he is generally punished to encourage the others, some abuse is added to blows, such as “_que pĕrrō-ō_,” “what a dog!” or some unhandsome allusion to his mother, which is followed by throwing a stone at the leaders, for no whip could reach them from the coach-box. When any particular mule’s name is called, if her companion be the next one to be abused, she is seldom addressed by her name, but is spoken to as “_a la ŏtrā-ā_,” “_aquella ŏtrā-ā_,” “Now for that other one,” which from long association is expected and acknowledged. The team obeys the voice and is in admirable command. Few things are more entertaining than driving them, especially over bad roads; but it requires much practice in Spanish speaking and swearing.