Here Jack made an awful pause, and looked at me in deep solemnity.
I said nothing, but puffed away in my usual thoughtful manner.
"The moment that I said that," continued Jack, "she turned and gave me the strangest look. 'Forgiven you,' said she; 'after all that has passed, can _you_ say that?'
"'Well,' I said, 'you don't seem altogether what you used to be--'
"'I!' she exclaimed. 'I not what I used to be?--and _you_ can look _me_ in the face and say that.'
"And now, Macrorie, listen to what an ass can do.
"You see, her language, her tone, and her look, all piqued me. But at the same time I didn't know what to say. I didn't love her--confound her!--and I knew that I didn't--but I wanted to assert myself, or some ether damned thing or other--so what did I do but take her hand."
"She leaned back in her chair. 'Ah, Jack,' she sighed, 'I don't believe you care any thing for poor me.'"
Jack paused for a while, and sat looking at the floor.
"Which was quite true," he continued, at last. "Only under the circumstances, being thus challenged, you know, by a very pretty widow, and being an ass, and being conceited, and being dazzled by the surroundings, what did I do but begin to swear that I loved her better than ever?
"'Yes, you alone!' I cried, and then went on in the usual strain in which impassioned lovers go under such circumstances, but with this very material difference, that I didn't happen to be an impassioned lover, or any other kind of a lover of hers at all, and I knew it all the time, and all the time felt a secret horror at what I was saying.
"But the fact of the business is, Macrorie, that woman is--oh--she is awfully clever, and she managed to lead me on, I don't know how. She pretended not to believe me--she hinted at my indifference, she spoke about my joy at getting away from her so as to go elsewhere, and said a thousand other things, all of which had the effect of making me more of an ass than ever, and so I rushed headlong to destruction."
Here Jack paused, and looked at me despairingly.
"Go on," said I. "Make an end of it. Out with it! What next?"
"Well--you see--somehow--I went on and before I knew it there I was offering to marry her on the spot--and--heavens and earth! Macrorie --wasn't it a sort of judgment on me--don't you think?--I'd got used to that sort of thing, you know offering to marry people off hand, you know, and all that--and so it came natural on this occasion; and I suppose that was how it happened, that before I knew what I was doing I had pumped out a violent and vehement entreaty for her to be mine at once.--Yes, at once--any time--that evening--the next day--the day after--no matter when. I'll be hanged if I can say now whether at that moment I was really sincere or not. I'm such a perfect and finished ass, that I really believe I meant what I said, and at that time I really wanted her to marry me. If that confounded chaplain that goes humbugging about there all the time had happened to be in the room, I'd have asked him to tie the knot on the spot. Yes, I'll be hanged if I wouldn't! His not being there is the only reason, I believe, why the knot wasn't tied. In that case I'd now be Mr. Finnimore--no, by Jove --what rot!--I mean I'd now be her husband, and she'd be Mrs. Randolph --confound her!"