Although the devil is not as black as he is painted, I hope neither I nor any other gentleman present bears any resemblance to his Satanic Majesty. The Scythians, it is reported, first debated things when drunk, and then whilst sober, and perhaps at the end of this gathering I may be able to form a better opinion of the members of the Newport Corporation.
_Mayor's Banquet, Newport March 18th, 1886._
A few months ago, in the silly season, "The Times" had about a couple of columns of letters from people discussing the uses and abuses of drink. I read the letters carefully, and came to the conclusion that there was a lot to be said on both sides. An octogenarian of 83 wrote to say that his eyesight, hearing, and teeth were all sound, and that he had not tasted spirituous liquors in his life. Shortly after, another octogenarian of 84, in addition to claiming the healthy condition of the previous writer, spoke of intending matrimony. He, however, said his memory was not so good as it was, but, so far as he could recollect, he had never been to bed sober in his life. After reading the first letter, I thought it was a "clincher," and went to bed without my usual brandy and soda, saying there would be no more licensed victuallers' dinners for me. When, however, I read the second letter, I changed my mind about the dinner. It has been said that life is not all beer and skittles, but it is a good thing to have something to drive away the depression which occasionally visits every one who has arrived at manhood.
_Licensed Victuallers' Dinner, Cardiff, March 15th, 1892._
In the old days barons drank strong ale. The barons would have their liquor strong, and local veto at that time would have meant loss of licensed victuallers' heads. Some people may wonder why I so persistently attend the Licensed Victuallers' Association meetings--for I do attend regularly. I will tell you why, in a few words, if you will not tell anybody else. There is a clause in the family settlements that compels me to do it. I endeavour to act up to those settlements.
_Licensed Victuallers' Dinner, Newport, March 9th, 1892._
I am not surprised that Members of Parliament are rather shy of going to licensed victuallers' dinners. They have to be very careful of what they say. Words, it has been said, are given to conceal thoughts. After dinner, sometimes, thoughts get the mastery of words, and Members of Parliament have to think a good deal of the future. They have to ponder over the teetotal vote, and they have to be very careful that they do not offend the licensed victuallers. The difference as regards the members of the House of Lords is this--they do not worry themselves about the teetotal vote, and they do not care a _darn_ for the licensed victuallers.