N.B. The _Schoolmaster in Newgate_, who drew up the above advertisement, for his respected friend, Mr. Ketch, takes this opportunity of contradicting a report, which has been current for some time past,—that the Schoolmaster is _abroad_, which is quite _foreign_ from the fact. Arrangements were certainly made to that effect, which, had they been carried into execution, he would have been quite _transported_; but he regrets to state, that he is under the necessity of remaining at his old abode, the large stone house in the Old Bailey.
┌─────────────┬───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │1835.] │ FEBRUARY. │ ├─────────────┼───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤ │ │Birds, this month, do bill and coo; │ │ │Do the like, and you may rue. │ │ │Courting is a pretty pleasure; │ │ │Wed in haste, repent at leisure. │ │ │ * * * * * * │ │ │To hen-peck'd husbands what a feast! │ │ │This month, all women talk the least. │ ├──┬──────────┼──────────────────────────────────────────┬────────────┤ │ M│ Season's │ =Odd Matters.= │ WEATHER. │ │ D│ Signs. │ │ │ ├──┼──────────┼──────────────────────────────────────────┼────────────┤ │ 1│mizzle │ │ │ │ │ │ │ Rain or │ │ │ │ │ hail, │ │ 2│drizzle │ VALENTINE'S DAY. │ │ │ │ │ │ ☽ ☍ │ │ 3│frizzle │I can't make out what they're about, │ │ │ │ │ Nor how the men incline; │ snow or │ │ │ │ │ sleet │ │ 4│raw │I've watch'd each knock, since nine │ │ │ │ │ To get a Valentine. │ ☉ ♊ ♓ ♓ │ │ 5│thaw │ │ │ │ │ │In vain I've tried on every side, │ in │ │ 6│hearts │ Some happy chance to see, │ │ │ │ │For, ah, alas! there came to pass │ this month │ │ 7│darts │ No Valentine for me. │ │ │ │ │ │ │ │ 8│smarts │From morn till night I've scream'd "The │ ☌ ♈ ♒ ♄ ⚹ │ │ │ │ light │ │ │ │ │ Guitar," above a week. │ │ │ 9│loves │"Bid me discourse, has made me hoarse, │ you're │ │ │ │ Till I can scarcely speak. │ │ │10│doves │ │ sure to │ │ │ │ │ meet. │ │ │ │Through rain and snow I always go │ │ │11│gloves │ To Tuesday evening lecture, │ │ │ │ │Yet snow and rain don't bring a swain; │ ♀ ♂ ☿ │ │12│willing │ And why, I can't conjecture. │ │ │ │ │ │If you don't│ │13│billing │In short, to find a lover kind, │ │ │ │ │ I've us'd all honest ways, │ ♊ ☌ ⊕ ♓ │ │14│wooing │I've pinch'd my toes, and no one knows │ │ │ │ │ How tight I've lac'd my stays. │ why then │ │15│cooing │ │ │ │ │ │Three times to-day, across the way, │ you won't: │ │16│eyes │ The postman has been seen— │ │ │ │ │And this makes four—at Jones's door │ │ │17│sighs │ One! two! "For Betty Green." │ ☊ ♅ ♑ ♎ ⚹ │ │ │ │ │ │ │18│mate │Well! on my word, old Major Bird │ Perhaps │ │ │ │ Stands making signs, I think,— │ │ │19│fate │(If Betty dares to set her snares,—) │there won't │ │ │ │ I'm sure I saw him wink. │ │ │20│love │ │ be one │ │ │ │I vow I'll call, and tell it all; │ │ │21│cold │ They'll give her instant warning; │ │ │ │ │And, but the river makes one shiver, │ ♃ ☉ ♐ ♋ ♉ │ │22│scratch │ I'd drown to-morrow morning. │ │ │ │ │ │nor t'other:│ │23│scold │ │ │ │ │ │ │ ☍ ☿ │ │24│fight │ │ │ │ │ │ │ Why then │ │25│bite │ │ │ │ │ │ │ 'twill │ │ │ │ │ happen │ │26│spite │ │ │ │ │ │ │ ♊ ☿ ⚹ │ │27│mope │ │ │ │ │ │ │ in │ │28│rope │ │some other. │ └──┴──────────┴──────────────────────────────────────────┴────────────┘