He vas valkin in his garden, Just afore he vent to sup; And on looking up he sor the Lodgers' vinders lighted hup.
Hup the stairs the landlord tumbled; Something's going wrong, he said; And he caught the vicked voman Underneath the lodgers' bed.
And he called a brother Pleaseman, Vich vas passing on his beat; Like a true and galliant feller, Hup and down in Guilford Street.
And that Pleaseman able-bodied Took this voman to the cell; To the cell vere she was quodded, In the Close of Clerkenwell.
And though vicked Charley Thompson Boulted like a miscrant base, Presently another Pleaseman Took him to the self-same place.
And this precious pair of raskles Tuesday last came up for doom; By the beak they was committed, Vich his name was Mr. Combe.
Has for poor Eliza Davis, Simple gurl of tventy-four, SHE I ope, vill never listen In the streets to sailors moar.
But if she must ave a sweet-art, (Vich most every gurl expex,) Let her take a jolly pleaseman; Vich his name peraps is--X.
Special Jurymen of England! who admire your country's laws, And proclaim a British Jury worthy of the realm's applause; Gayly compliment each other at the issue of a cause Which was tried at Guildford 'sizes, this day week as ever was.
Unto that august tribunal comes a gentleman in grief, (Special was the British Jury, and the Judge, the Baron Chief,) Comes a British man and husband--asking of the law relief; For his wife was stolen from him--he'd have vengeance on the thief.
Yes, his wife, the blessed treasure with the which his life was crowned, Wickedly was ravished from him by a hypocrite profound. And he comes before twelve Britons, men for sense and truth renowned, To award him for his damage, twenty hundred sterling pound.
He by counsel and attorney there at Guildford does appear, Asking damage of the villain who seduced his lady dear: But I can't help asking, though the lady's guilt was all too clear, And though guilty the defendant, wasn't the plaintiff rather queer?
First the lady's mother spoke, and said she'd seen her daughter cry But a fortnight after marriage: early times for piping eye. Six months after, things were worse, and the piping eye was black, And this gallant British husband caned his wife upon the back.