_S. P._ Goin' in for co-operation this year? What do you think of the covey system?
_F. P._ Played out, dear bird. Social fads a bit off colour, don't you know, in these Tory days. Individualism, I say, and let every fowl sit tight for himself, especially with this wild shootin' goin' on. Family ties a little loose, too, this end of the century. Look at the Divorce Courts.
_S. P._ No chance of Protection, I suppose?
_F. P._ Afraid not. You see they're keepin' JIMMY LOWTHER quiet with a heavy job on Committees. By the way, I see BRODRICK'S gettin' in a lot more ammunition for small-arms. Glad it's smokeless powder. Old stuff used to knock the landscape about badly. Then, again, apart from the view, must say I like to see where I'm flyin'.
_S. P._ Pity CHAPLIN didn't get laid on to our department. Hear he had a notion for a bi-metallic gun; dead safe to settle agricultural depression.
_F. P._ Well, anyhow, ROSEBERY did us the compliment to make our last man a Lord; though perhaps it was a covert insult, seein' he was boomin' against the Upper Chamber. Take it all round, I'm for a Tory Government. One of their openin' moves, you see, is to put the First on a Sunday. That's a bit sportsmanlike.
_S. P._ Yes, but they're a mixed lot--this coalition. Tell me that J. C. don't know a muzzle from a butt-end! However, here's luck and rude health to all good sportsmen. _Vive le Sport!_ I'm off with the missus for a mornin' fly. Ta-ta!
_Rector._ "DUGGAN, ATTENTION! AS YOU'RE AN OLD BALACLAVA SOLDIER, I AM INCLINED TO MAKE ALLOWANCES; BUT THIS IS THE THIRD TIME I HAVE SEEN YOU UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF DRINK! HOW IS THIS?"
_Sexton._ "WELL, YOU SEE, SIR, WHEN I GO DOWN TOWN, ONE FELLOW SAYS, 'DUGGAN, WILL YOU HAVE A DRINK?' AND ANOTHER SAYS THE SAME, AND I GET DRUNK WITHOUT KNOWING IT!"
_Rector._ "BUT, DUGGAN, WHEN I GO DOWN TOWN, NO ONE ASKS ME TO TAKE A DRINK!"
_Sexton._ "YES; BUT YOU'RE NOT NEARLY SUCH A POPULAR MAN, YOU SEE!"]
[The Frilled Lizard--_Chlamydosaurus Kingi_--from Roebuck Bay, Western Australia, a recent addition to the Zoo, is believed to "elevate its frill when angry or excited"; but as no power on earth seems to make it excited or angry, its frill never shows to advantage.]