I own'd that, for the London Cries, we now must ring a knell: But if we've lost the 'Sweep soot-ho!' we've got the dustman's bell; Tho' in the street, it is not meet that folks should preach or pray; Yet Punch may bawl, and singers squall, without a "SETTLING DAY."
My Granny grinn'd a ghastly smile, and let my button go; "We'll meet again," she said, "and then I'll tell you all my woe: "You have not heard a twentieth part; but you'll no longer stay." She vanish'd straight; but all too late;—I lost _my_ "SETTLING DAY."
A GENTLEMAN, who is about to proceed to New South Wales, on the public account, for fourteen years, is desirous of providing a confidential situation for an active YOUTH, previously to his departure. He is exceedingly light-fingered, and very dexterous in the conveyance of property; and, among his other accomplishments, the advertiser can confidently recommend him for considerable skill in opening locks without the aid of a key. He has been brought up to the _bar_; and is _lineally_ descended from the renowned Jerry Abershaw. Most of his relations have been raised to exalted situations, far above the ordinary crowd; and, indeed, there is little doubt, that the force of his genius, if suffered to take its course, will, in time, procure for him the same degree of elevation. He can refer with confidence for a character to any of the gentlemen composing that respectable body, the Swell Mob Association; and the advertiser will be happy to reply to any inquiries, addressed—PETER PRIG, Esq., at the Stone Jug Hotel, Old Bailey.
┌─────────────┬───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │1835.] │ APRIL. │ ├─────────────┼───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤ │ │ Opera open—Town fills— │ │ │ Old fools dance quadrilles— │ │ │Paganini's fiddle-de-D— │ │ │The D— once fiddled a guinea from me— │ │ │Crockford's splendid Saturday Dinners— │ │ │Sunday—"Miserable sinners!" │ ├──┬──────────┼──────────────────────────────────────────┬────────────┤ │ M│ Season's │ =Odd Matters.= │ WEATHER. │ │ D│ Signs. │ │ │ ├──┼──────────┼──────────────────────────────────────────┼────────────┤ │ 1│growing │ │ If it be │ │ │ │ │ │ │ 2│showers │ APRIL RHYMES. │ neither │ │ │ │ │ │ │ 3│springing │Rhymes for April—let me sing │ ♄ ♊ ♌ ☿ ⚹ │ │ │ │The pleasures of returning spring. │ │ │ 4│flowers │ │ warm │ │ │ │ I wish, in verse the lines ran single, │ │ │ 5│hot │'Tis tiresome, hunting words that jingle, │ nor cold, │ │ │ │ │ wet │ │ │ │And just as hard, in any season, │ │ │ 6│cross │To furnish either rhyme or reason: │ nor dry, │ │ │ │For showers, and bowers, and buds of │ │ │ │ │ roses, │ │ │ 7│bunn │Nights, and blights, and blue cold noses, │ ♂ ☉ ☌ ☍ │ │ │ │Beams and gleams, and flow'rets springing,│ │ │ 8│day │Feather'd warblers, winging, singing, │ calm │ │ │ │Hills and rills, and groves and loves, │ │ │ 9│Easter │Wooing, cooing, turtle-doves, │ nor storm; │ │ │ │Shades and glades, and larks and thrushes,│ │ │10│Monday │Chilly grass, and dripping bushes, │ and │ │ │ │Are soon a poor exhausted store;— │ │ │11│what a │I'll try a city theme for more. │ │ │ │ │ │ ⚹ ♊ ♄ ☉ │ │12│fun │ Judges, fudges, wigs, and prigs, │ │ │ │ │In coaches, busses, cabs, and gigs, │ there be │ │13│day! │Dripping, tripping, slipping, slopping, │ │ │ │ │Pink silk stockings go a-shopping; │ neither │ │14│prentice │Haggling, draggling, puddling, poking, │ │ │ │ │Drizzling, mizzling, muddling, soaking, │ │ │15│boys │Dirty crossings, dainty faces, │ ♃ ♄ ☉ ☿ ♂ │ │ │ │Pretty legs choose widest places; │ │ │16│full │And fools are made, by far the worst, │frost, snow,│ │ │ │On other days besides the First. │ │ │17│of │ │hail, rain, │ │ │ │ │ │ │18│joys │ │ │ │ │ │ │ │ │19│noise │ │ ♊ ☉ │ │ │ │ │ │ │20│toys │ │ ♄ ♊ ☿ ♂ ⚹ │ │ │ │ │ │ │21│Greenwich │ │ why then │ │ │ │ │ │ │22│hill │ │you may say,│ │ │ │ │ │ │23│Jack │ │ ♄ ♊ ☉ │ │ │ │ │ │ │24│and │ │ that │ │ │ │ │ │ │25│Jill │ │ │ │ │ │ │ ♃ ♄ ♊ ☉ ♂ │ │26│tumble │ │ │ │ │ │ │ I am │ │27│down │ │ │ │ │ │ │ ☌ ☉ ♌ ♈ ☿ │ │28│crack │ │ │ │ │ │ │ no │ │29│their │ │ │ │ │ │ │ conjurer. │ │30│crown │ │ │ └──┴──────────┴──────────────────────────────────────────┴────────────┘
