The thief was cruel whex'd To find himself so pinn'd; The oss began to whinny, The honest gloom he grinn'd; And the raskle thief got off the oss And cut avay like vind.
And phansy with what joy The master did regard His dearly bluvd lost oss again Trot in the stable yard!
Who was this master good Of whomb I makes these rhymes? His name is Jacob Homnium, Exquire; And if I'd committed crimes, Good Lord I wouldn't ave that mann Attack me in the Times!
Now shortly after the groomb His master's oss did take up, There came a livery-man This gentleman to wake up; And he handed in a little bill, Which hangered Mr. Jacob.
For two pound seventeen This livery-man eplied, For the keep of Mr. Jacob's oss, Which the thief had took to ride. "Do you see anythink green in me?" Mr. Jacob Homnium cried.
"Because a raskle chews My oss away to robb, And goes tick at your Mews For seven-and-fifty bobb, Shall I be call'd to pay?--It is A iniquitious Jobb."
Thus Mr. Jacob cut The conwasation short; The livery-man went ome, Detummingd to ave sport, And summingsd Jacob Homnium, Exquire, Into the Pallis Court.
Pore Jacob went to Court, A Counsel for to fix, And choose a barrister out of the four, An attorney of the six: And there he sor these men of Lor, And watch'd 'em at their tricks.
The dreadful day of trile In the Pallis Court did come; The lawyers said their say, The Judge look'd wery glum, And then the British Jury cast Pore Jacob Hom-ni-um.
O a weary day was that For Jacob to go through; The debt was two seventeen (Which he no mor owed than you), And then there was the plaintives costs, Eleven pound six and two.
And then there was his own, Which the lawyers they did fix At the wery moderit figgar Of ten pound one and six. Now Evins bless the Pallis Court, And all its bold ver-dicks!
I cannot settingly tell If Jacob swaw and cust, At aving for to pay this sumb; But I should think he must, And av drawn a cheque for L24 4s. 8d. With most igstreme disgust.
O Pallis Court, you move My pitty most profound. A most emusing sport You thought it, I'll be bound, To saddle hup a three-pound debt, With two-and-twenty pound.
Good sport it is to you To grind the honest pore, To pay their just or unjust debts With eight hundred per cent. for Lor; Make haste and get your costes in, They will not last much mor!