"Yes, mamma, I did and I didn’t," she said.
"Well, mamma, I was awfully sleepy so I just asked God if He wouldn’t excuse me to-night and He said, ’Oh, don’t mention it, Miss Brooks.’"
Senator Quay was fond of telling a story of an experience of his in a country hotel near Pittsburg.
Hanging on the wall in the parlor was an inscription, "Ici on parle Français." The Senator noted the sign and turning to the landlord said, "Do you speak French?"
"No," the man replied, "United States will do for me."
"Well, then," said Quay, "why do you have that notice on the wall? That means, ’French is spoken here.’"
"Well, I’ll be blamed!" ejaculated the hotel-keeper. "A young chap sold that to me for ’God bless our home.’"
Mr. W----, who used to be president of the Seaboard Air Line, is a good friend of Mr. S----, president of the Southern Railway. The friends of the two are fond of springing upon them this story:
In sending out complimentary passes to officials of the Seaboard system it happened through error that the Southern sent to Mr. W---- a pass marked "Not good on the Washington and South-western Limited." When he received it Mr. W---- looked up the Seaboard pass that was to be sent to Mr. S----. With a pen he wrote across it:
A young lady was entertaining callers one evening when her little sister came down the stairway in a noisy manner. "Frances," said the annoyed elder sister, "you came down-stairs so that you could be heard all over the house. Now, go back and come down properly."
Frances retired, and in a few minutes reentered the parlor.
"Did you hear me come down-stairs this time, Marjie?" asked the little girl anxiously.
"No, dear; this time you came down like a lady."
"Yes’m," explained Frances, exhibiting some pride and satisfaction in her performance, "this time I slid down the banisters."
A dispute arose on a train one election day as to who would be elected Governor of Pennsylvania. One man stoutly maintained that Pattison would be elected, while another said Pennypacker would receive an immense majority. An Irishman on the train offered twenty-five dollars on the first-named candidate.
"You’re both mistaken," said a religious-looking man after the discussion had gone on for some time.
