"Our mothers looked on at the dancing--that was their business then; Frowned on the detrimentals, smiled on the right young men.
"Then came this Tangomania, and when the fad was new Badly it shocked the old folks--now they are doing it too!
"Now we may watch our mothers, smiling and flushed and gay, Doing it, doing it, doing it, tangoing night and day,
"Stamping a Texas Tommy, wreathing a Grapevine Swirl, Gleefully Gaby Gliding, young as the youngest girl.
"We may not laugh at our mothers, for (between me and you) They can out-dance us often--get all our partners too!"
This is the sorrowful story told by a chastened lot Of maidens sitting together, watching their mothers trot.
[Illustration: _Nervous Lady_ (_in whose street there have been several burglaries_). "HOW OFTEN DO YOU POLICEMEN COME DOWN THIS ROAD? I'M CONSTANTLY ABOUT, BUT I NEVER SEE YOU."
_Policeman._ "AH, VERY LIKELY I SEES YOU WHEN YOU DON'T SEE ME, MUM. IT'S A POLICEMAN'S BUSINESS TO SECRETE 'ISSELF!"]
"I want to engage the next cook myself," I had said to my wife.
"Chiefly," I said, "because I am the only person in the house who minds what is placed on the table. If the food is distasteful I complain of it; you defend it; and we lose our tempers. Now it is perfectly clear that you cannot guard against certain culinary monstrosities when you engage a cook. I can. And coming from a man it will impress her more."
"Because you haven't," I said. "You have engaged scores of cooks in your time and everyone does a certain thing which infuriates me."
In course of time the prospective cook was ushered into my study. If I liked her she was to stay.
"Good morning," I said. "There's only one thing I want to discuss with you. Apple tart. Can you cook apple tarts really well?"
She said it was her speciality, her _forte_.
"Yes, but can you do them as I like them, I wonder."
"Well, my idea of an apple tart is that there should be so much lemon in it that it tastes of lemon rather than apple."
"Mine, too," she said. "I always put a lot of lemon in."
"And," I went on, "wherever the tart doesn't taste of lemon I like it to taste of cloves."
"I was just going to say the same. I always put in plenty of cloves."
"In short, the whole duty of a cook who is given an apple to cook is," I said, "to see that every scrap of the divine--of the flavour of the apple is smothered and killed."