_John._ I hope you won't. This comes of trying to do a good-natured act. O, dear! that address! (_Reads._)
"Ye crags and peaks, I'm with you once again!"
_Clod._ I say, sonny; yer hain't seen nothin' of a keow, have yer, here or hereabouts?
_Clod._ Well, don't git mad. It's plaguy strange where that are keow has travelled tew. Brand new keow dad brought hum from market yesterday. What on airth shall I do? She's a brindle, short horns. Yeou hain't seen her?
_John._ No, I haven't seen her. I've seen no cows or cattle of any kind. It's no use stopping here.
_Clod._ Well, I dunno what's to be did. Marm, she dropped her bakin', and scooted one way; dad quit ploughin', and scooted another; and I've been scootin' every which way. Ain't heard a keow moo--mooing, have yer?
_John._ I don't believe there's a cow within forty miles of here.
_Clod._ Sho! yer jokin' neow. Neow, see here; I kinder think yeou dew know somethin' about that keow. Jest tell me where she is, and I don't mind ginning yer fo'pence.
_John._ I tell you again, I know nothing about your cow. I'm studing my lesson; and if you don't clear out and leave me in peace, I shall never get it.
_Clod._ Sho! Well, I don't want to hender ye, but I should like to know what's become of that are keow. [_Exit_, R.
_John._ Gone at last. Was ever a fellow so plagued! I've only got eight minutes, and I must study. (_Goes to back of stage, and walks up and down, studying._)
_Patsy._ Begorra, it's a foine irrant I's on ony way. It's all along iv thim watthermillons, bad luck to 'em! Slaping swately on my bid last night thinking uv the bould b'ys that fit, blid, and run away from Canady, I heerd a v'ice in the millon patch, "Here's a bouncer, b'ys." Faix, didn't I lept out uv that bid, and didn't I hurry on my clo'es, and didn't I take a big shtick, and didn't I run fur the patch, and didn't I find nobody? To be sure I did! So this morning, Mr. Hopkins sinds me to the school-house to find the b'ys that invadid the sacred retrait, which is the millon-patch. But how will I find thim? Begorra, I should know that v'ice; and I'll make the whole school shtand up togither one by one and shout, "Here's a bouncer!" that I will.
_John._ (_Coming down_ R. _of stage._) Now let's see how much I know. (_Declaims._)